The Dual Purposes Of This Blog

There are two general areas that this blog focuses on, not counting the quizzes. One area is my life, what's happening in it, stories about Emily and etc... The other is the religious side that tends to bug at least one of you. I thought briefly about starting another blog and separating the two topics, but that seems to much like work, so if any of you want to skip the religious writings, you are going to have to sift for yourself.

One of my frequent visitors out here has commented several times (off the blog) that they would like to have more information on precisely what my religious/spiritual beliefs were. Several of the others have indicated at least that they don't really know. As such, and for myself, I intend to address this question in the weeks to come.

In deference to those of you who are not interested, I intend to title these segments to reference what they are. Tentatively I am considering referring to them as chapters of the Journey of the White Wolf. Whatever I finally choose it will probably be clear by the title, and if not then by the first sentence what it is I am talking about.

There are a couple of disclaimers I will throw out as I plan on embarking on this series of essays:
- I could continuously say, I believe this, and I believe that, but I am not likely to use that style. I will speak of things as they are. I will use the phrase "we" as well as "I". If any of you want to point out that the statements I make are unproven, feel free. As a general rule, though, I will simply refer you back to this post. I assume that by the nature of what I write in an essay of what I believe, it will obviously be an opinion more than fact. No need to point this out to me.
- Within the specific forum of these articles defining my religious and spiritual standing, any posts declaring that a path other than my own is the only true way to salvation, or anything of that genre will be deleted as soon as I see it. In specific regards to those posts, such a comment would be extremely disrespectful. If you feel the overwhelming need to say such a thing, put it elsewhere, even elsewhere on my blog.
- If you have any legitemate questions in regards to the content of these posts, feel free to ask. If I don't answer, it is most likely due to the fact that it is slated to be addressed later, although I will probably at least comment to tell you that.
- Remember that this is a revelation of myself, not an attempt to convert any of you. Taking it as an attack on your religion or lack thereof (i.e. A comment from me that "It obviously follows suit...") is pointless, since I assure you that won't be the intent of what I am saying. I am just stating where I stand, not where I think you should be.

There are other minor details I could throw out here, but I suppose I will probably just address them if and when they come up. For now, though, I leave you with only the warnings as I gather my thoughts for the first post in what lies behind life, or something close to it.

Go Figure

Humphrey Bogart You scored 35% Tough, 19% Roguish, 33% Friendly, and 14% Charming!

You're the original man of honor, rough and tough but willing to stick your neck out when you need to, despite what you might say to the contrary. You're a complex character full of spit and vinegar, but with a soft heart and a tender streak that you try to hide. There's usually a complicated dame in the picture, someone who sees the real you behind all the tough talk and can dish it out as well as you can. You're not easy to get next to, but when you find the right partner, you're caring and loyal to a fault. A big fault. But you take it on the chin and move on, nursing your pain inside and maintaining your armor...until the next dame walks in. Or possibly the same dame, and of all the gin joints in all the world, it had to be yours. Co-stars include Ingrid Bergman and Lauren Bacall, hot chicks with problems. Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 73% on Tough You scored higher than 56% on Roguish You scored higher than 56% on Friendly You scored higher than 12% on Charming

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Yeah, sure. People have compared me to him all my life, or something close to it.

Another Emily Update

We took her to the burn clinic yesterday and let the experts check her hand out. They say that it looks good. They bandaged it up and told us that we have to bring her back in a week so they can look at it again, but they expect that will be the last visit needed.

Contrary to the concerns of the pediatrician, the burn folks say that they don't anticipate any scarring to effect the growth or maturation of her hand. All in all, it appears that the ordeal will shortly be over. Emily is overjoyed by the new bandage, as this one allows her thumb out where she can get to it.

The social worker came in while she was at the clinic to get information on what had happened, but she was there for about three minutes and didn't seem the least concerned. She did give Emily a beanie stork to play with before she left though.

One of the best things about it is the fact that, with the new bandage which they told us to leave alone, I look to be escaping this entire ordeal without actually having to see what her hand looks like prior to healing. One of the better minor details of my life, or something close to it.

Emily Updated

Once again we took her to the doctor's office today. The difference being that this particular visit was originally supposed to be a well baby visit. Today they weighed her (12lbs, 11oz), measured her (I remember it was 25 I just don't remember if it was centimeters or inches.), and then gave her some shots.

I have to say that I was not particularly amused when two nurses marched in with two needles a piece. I knew she needed to have some shots but I didn't realize that she was going to be a pincushion. She was pretty mad about the shots. She was sleeping and they didn't even bother to wake her up first. I thought that we kind of rude. Even an adult would wake up pissed in that scenario. The doctor did comment that she was reacting as more angry than to the pain itself. She also calmed down rather quickly. Quicker than her dad did from watching the blood run down her leg from one of the injection sites.

Her hand was rebandaged and Martha and Mom learned how to do it so we can do it twice a day. Not for me, thanks. I still haven't seen the hand without the bandage yet. This is fine with me. I would have been happy if my mother didn't describe it to me yesterday either.

We go to the burn clinic tomorrow and see what they have to say, and I will update you folks on that when it happens. For now, that's the story of my life, or something close to it.

The Trials and Tribulations of Emily

Well, those of you who are neither directly related to me, nor named Lisa, are completely unaware of the events of 12/26/05 in regards to Emily. I have been meaning to get around to bringing it up, but have been kind of busy, and not blogging much anyway.

I was at work during the day and Martha and my mother were watching Emily. My mother was unaware of Emily's newest game or exactly how fond of it she was. Emily has found that if she holds real still for a couple of minutes while someone is holding her, and then launches herself at something that catches her eye, she really catches people off guard.

As such, my mother was in the process of making a bottle for her when Emily decided it was time to play again. As has been the case the first time with the rest of us, she caught my mother by surprise. Nevertheless, my mother's experience with babies and lightning reflexes prevented Emily from tumbling out of her arms. They didn't prevent Emily from stretching that hand out a little further as she did so and getting her hands on the prize. A frying pan. On the lit stove.

My mother says that she will never forget the sound that Emily made, and in truth, somewhat selfishly, I am glad I wasn't here to hear it. Of course my mother and wife rushed my daughter to the doctor's office, calling me while they were en route to let me know what was going on. By the time I got out of work they were home and Emily's hand was all bandaged up.

We've been taking her to the doctor each day, and things do seem to be going well. Other than being a little less prone to sleep, Emily is not acting as if she is in any pain. In fact at several points I have watched as she beats the offending hand against something repeatedly and laughs. So apparently, from her angle, everything seems to be okay for the most part.

My mother and wife just took her to the doctor again today, and he advised that we go to a children's burn specialist. He has some concern about scarring, which would give her significant hand trouble later on since scar tissue doesn't grow. (Thus it was relayed to me, though I know that to some extent this isn't true. The scar on my foot is the width of my foot, a much wider scar than it was when I got it.) Nevertheless, we have to see what the specialist will say.

So that's it, an up to date window into my life, or something close to it.

What MC Was Referencing

I share this only because it is the dumbest one of these things I have ever run across, and it goes into the evidence pile MC referred to of the large amount of stupid quizzes that you don't tend to find here:

What Your Underwear Says About You

You tend to buy new underwear instead of doing laundry. You're not afraid to lay around resting your hand in your pants.

The Underwear Oracle

So that is what my underwear apparently says about my life, or something close to it.

Kind Of Pointless

This is where I found it.

Had to steal it on the grounds that I can't see what it possibly would accomplish. Not going to go into explanations though. All you get are x's or blanks.

Put an "X" by all the things you've done and share it with your friends.

1. (x) Smoked a cigarette.
2. ( ) Crashed a friend's car.
3. ( ) Stolen a car.
4. (x) Been in love.
5. (X) Been dumped.
6. (x) Shoplifted.
7. (x) Been fired/laid off.
8. (x) Been in a fist fight.
9. (x) Snuck out of your parent's house.
10.(x) Had feelings for someone that didn't have them back.
11. (x) Been arrested.
12. ( ) Gone on a blind date.
13. (x) Lied to a friend.
14. (x) Skipped school.
15. (x) Seen someone die.
16. (X) Been to Canada.
17. ( ) Been to Mexico.
18. (x) Been on a plane.
19. (x) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
20. (X) Eaten sushi.
21. (X) Been skiing.
22. (x) Met someone in person from the internet.
23. (x) Taken pain-killers.
24. (x) Love someone or miss someone right now.
25. (x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
26. (x) Made a snow angel.
27. (x) Had a tea party.
28. (x) Flown a kite.
29. (x) Built a sand castle.
30. (x) Gone puddle jumping.
31. (x) Played dress up.
32. (x) Cheated while playing a game.
33. (x) Been lonely.
34. (x) Fallen asleep at work/school.
35. ( ) Used a fake I.D.
36. (x) Watched a sunset.
37. ( ) Felt an earthquake.
38. (x) Touched a snake.
39. (x) Slept beneath the stars.
40. (x) Been tickled.
41. (x) Been robbed.
42. (x) Been misunderstood.
43. (x) Petted a reindeer/goat.
44. (x) Won a contest.
45. (x) Ran a red light.
46. (x) Been suspended from school.
47. (x) Been in a car accident.
48. ( ) Had braces.
49. ( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
50. (x) Had deja vu.
51. (x) Danced in the moonlight.
52. (x) Liked the way you looked.
53. (x) Witnessed a crime.
54. (x) Questioned your heart.
55. ( ) Been obsessed with post it notes.
56. (x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
57. (x) Been lost.
58. (x) Been to the opposite side of the country.
59. (x) Swam in the ocean.
60. (x) Felt like dying.
61. (X) Cried yourself to sleep.
62. (x) Played cops and robbers.
63. (x) Recently colored with crayons.
64. (x) Sung karaoke.
65. (x) Paid for a meal with only coins.
66. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
67. (x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose.
68. (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
69. (x) Danced in the rain.
70. (X) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
71. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.
72. (x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.
73. (x) Blown bubbles.
74. (x) Made a bonfire on the beach.
75. (x) Crashed a party.
76. (x) Gone roller-skating.
77. (x) Had a wish come true.
78. ( ) Worn pearls.
79. (x) Jumped off a bridge.
80. ( ) Ate dog/cat food.
81. (x) Told a complete stranger you loved them.
82. ( ) Kissed a mirror.
83. (x) Sang in the shower.
84. (x) Had a dream that you married someone.
85. (X) Glued your hand to something.
86. ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole.
87. (x) Kissed a fish.
88. (x) Sat on a rooftop.
89. ( ) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
90. ( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.
91. (x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours on one occasion.
92. (x) Stayed up all night.
93. (x) Didn't take a shower for a week.
94. (x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
95. (x) Climbed a tree that had a tree house.
96. (x) Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot.
97. ( ) Ever had a one night stand.
98. ( ) Ever missed someone so much it still hurts to think of them.
99. (x) Ever loved someone that you knew wouldn't love you back.
100. (x) Ever been to a professional baseball, football, or hockey game in a stadium.
101. (x) Went hiking in the mountains.
102. (x) Smoked a cigar.
103. ( ) Had a crush on someone you worked with but never told them.
104. (x) Wished you had the chance to change your profession.
105. ( ) Ever cremated and kept the ashes of a pet you cared a lot about.
106. ( ) Wished you could live your life over again beginning at age 21.
107. (x) Been baptized.
108. (x) Rode a horse.
109. ( ) Sent flowers to someone you never met.

Which is worse, the fact that I wasted my time answering those or that you wasted your time reading them? So there are many little snippets (albeit missing the context) of my life or something close to it.

More Pictures

Anybody recognize the sweatshirt?





So there you have one more glimpse into my life or something close to it.

December 25th

For those of you celebrating it, Merry Christmas.

For those of you who aren't, enjoy your Sunday.

This post is so short I might forgo the traditional tag of life, or something close to it.

What Makes Language Inappropriate?

Since this question has come up again, and this time in the comments section of one of my posts, I figure it is about time to address this issue again. I was otiginally going to comment in MC's defense and then realized that the comment was going to be too long and I decided to post instead.

While I have heard it intimated that "foul language" implies and inability to get one's point across in another manner, I have not often found this to be the case. While such language is common amongst those of lesser verbal capabilities, it can also be found at any educational level. Let's address why.

First, the question. What makes this language inappropriate? Why do certain words get designated as ones that shouldn't be used? The exist and they refer to something, don't they? The fact that an appropriate synonym can be used points not to a flaw in the speaker but a flaw in the listener who is complaining. Why is it that you can reference making love or copulation but it is inappropriate to reference two people fucking? (I realize that this doesn't address using the word outside of it's literal meaning for invective, but I will get to that in a second.) When someone comes over and accuses my parents dog of "taking a dump" on their lawn, my initial reaction was that this person was uneducated, since I haven't heard that phrase since high school. Then again, they may just have been using polite metaphor for the dog shit they claimed was our fault. Why again is the euphemism (and a rather stupid one at that) is acceptable but a perfectly good word that describes it isn't?

Of course there are those who will specifically use the words as invective or to be insulting. In this case, I can understand someone taking offense to the tone of the message, but I don't see that the individual words they used were at fault, since the euphemisms they might choose would be equally insulting.

In some environments others like MC and I are rather used to such language even on a casual basis. We fail to have such superficial fear of certain precise combinations of letters. Remember, as intelligent as he may be, MC swears like a soldier. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think there might be a reason I can relate to for that.

Well I don't understand the prejudice against certain words for their own sake, I do know that it offends some people. As such I don't use this language on other people's blogs, and tend to steer away from it in environments I am not certain of. As a general rule, though, when in my own home my language and language allowed by others is my choice. (On my blog, I think the home clause applies.)

It is quite possible someone may say something that offends me. If they do I will address the issue, but I doubt the actual words used will be the reason. Especially since MC makes a point. Whether you like it or not, "I really don't care" and "I don't give a fuck" bear different meanings. The word used implies a forcefulness that would take paragraphs to address otherwise. Some of you may not agree with my stance on the subject, but it is my blog, and that's just life (or something close to it).

This Silly Christmas Argument

You know what the biggest problem is in regards to this "War on Christmas" debate? It is the fact that all of these people whining about it don't realize that they are attempting to destroy a good thing.

There is no way that the general public is going to be forced to acknowledge the story of the nativity in association with this holiday. Therefore, if Christ could be forced back into the season, the holiday would suffer, in that nowhere near as many would participate and recognize it. (Not that I am saying I think this goal can be achieved.)

Think about this. Nobody can change how you celebrate your holiday. No number of Merry Christmases are going to destroy Yule for me, or Hannukah for any who celebrate it. Atheists might take offense to the Merry Christmas comment, but given its commercialization and recentralization around Santa Clause and other commercial myths, there is no reason for them to associate anything religious with it at all. It is just another federal holiday.

The point I am trying to get to is this: One of the greatest things about this season is that everyone gets together to enjoy it. Family and friends gather around, offices close, gifts are exchanged and food is consumed. Your family celebrates together and you know that most of your neighbors are doing the whole thing. Our entire national community is engaged in celebration of the season. That makes the season pretty impressive.

Today is Yule. While it is the holiday that I celebrate, it is basically just another day. I will go to work. I will come home and hang around with my family. There will be a minor celebration, but it does not carry the same feeling of joy and celebration. There was not the same anticipation. The reason? Because many of my friends and neighbors and some of my family aren't celebrating. Many of them don't even know that the Solstice is today. Many of them wouldn't care if they did.

So for me, my religious holiday will be a quiet one. Much quieter than the upcoming Christmas holiday. Even I look forward to that day with some anticipation because of the various family gatherings that will be had. The parties that will be celebrated, and the people whom I see once or twice a year that will gather back around. Christmas isn't my holiday, but my Yule celebration to some extent will be delayed to coincide because that is when the community has decided to celebrate.

Think of how exciting the Christmas season is and tell me that you really think it would be so exciting if it wasn't so commercialized and public. If the entire community wasn't counting down to it together and celebrating together on that day. Whether you say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas shouldn't be the important issue here. The important issue is that on the day you have chosen to commemorate the birth of the Son of God, the entire nation celebrates. They aren't celebrating the same thing as you, but that should be okay, for they raise the air of celebration all around you.

Rather than creating this war on terminology why aren't we just going with it? Regardless of the greeting, it is the same sentiment, true or false, that is being expressed. Nothing we say or do in your environment should be powerful enough to shake your faith. If it is, then look to yourself and don't blame us. If God enacted a miracle in your life, would you nitpick about the details of how it was accomplished? Why then do you complain about the miracle the people have enacted for him in that everyone is celebrating his birthday, regardless of how that celebration was accomplished?

Stop throwing stones and celebrate the season as it was intended to be celebrated. With good will, not venomous words. Celebrate whatever season you wish to call it, and borrow from the joy all around you as the nation celebrates the various seasons of its people's choosing. In the end, your personal celebration shouldn't be effected by mine, and when the season is over, both of us will be returning to our life, or something close to it.

The Sabbatts: Yule

So we come around to another of the Sabbatts. This one happens to be one of the two whose names are easily recognized by most of the population, even if the details aren't known. (The other being Eostre.)

Yule is one of the lesser Sabbatts. This doesn't mean it isn't important in the Pagan calendar, it just means that it isn't one of the most important ones on our calendar. The subject of the difference between the lesser and greater Sabbatts is a whole other lengthy topic, which I won't delve into now. Maybe later. For the mean time, here is a general overview if you are interested. (Just remember that the link is there solely because the article gives a decent overview of the difference between greater and lesser Sabbatts. I am not at all familiar with this site, and as such it doesn't necessarily reflect my opinions. I merely link this particular page to save myself from getting off track.)

Yule is celebrated somewhere between December 20th and December 23rd. It coincides with the Winter Solstice which falls between those dates every year. This year it is on December 21st.

The primary focus of the Sabbatt tends to be on the God, as is the case with all of the lesser Sabbatts as they follow the cycle of the sun. It is a time of celebration, for it symbolizes that winter is half gone. Now the people are no longer walking into the tunnel, but walking out. Spring is coming and the optimism grows as it appears that survival of the winter is likely.

On this day it is not uncommon for people to wait through the long night for the coming sun, to watch it rise on a day that will be longer than the one just past. Beginning a cycle that will continue through to the Summer Solstice.

There are many traditions that have been associated with this Sabbatt. In some Goddess traditions it is said that the new Sun King is born, and will soon reign, warming the world and preparing it for the return of the Goddess.

Others hold to the tradition of the Oak King and the Holly King. On Yule the Oak King rises and battles the Holly King, ultimately defeating him. Some even re-enact this battle, though this is more common on the summer solstice when weather is more conducive for outdoor athleticism. The Oak King then takes the throne and presides over the growing season, until defeated on the summer solstice so the Holly King can preside over the harvest and the season of death.

Many Goddess traditions involve a vigil. Celebrating through the night, frequently with many candles lit in anticipation of the greater flame of the sun. They will wait for the sun to rise and hail the God on his return to power, welcoming him, and anticipating the inevitable following of the return of the Goddess, who will bring fertility with her.

Traditions of this season will be familiar. It is common for a tree to be cut down, and brought home to be decorated. Some decorate the trees where they grow. Frequently enough this has depended less on tradition and more on convenience. If a tree was close to the home that was suitable, cutting it down was hard work. If not, then it had to be brought back.

Wreaths and other greenery are used to decorate for this Sabbatt as well. These are used to symbolize the coming growth of spring that is now to be anticipated. Frequently evergreens are used. While it can be said that they can be symbolic of life year round, one also must consider that they would traditionally be the only greenery to be found during this season.

The Yule log is another tradition. A large log that can burn through the night, keeping warmth and light while the celebration continues late into the night as the reveling continues. (When I said vigil you weren't thinking of silent prayers were you? That's a very long night of contemplation. I suppose some might do it that way, but it is a night for a party after all, and the God and Goddess never told us to be bored while we awaited them.)

Gift giving in this season was also a traditional practice. Those with more would provide for those with less. Not altogether altruistically of course. It was a matter of survival, and it is considered good form for as many of the people in your area to survive the winter as possible.

The colors of this season are Green, Red, White, Gold and Silver. The plants are Evergreens. Pines, mistletoe, holly and ivy. Candles are common particularly in more modern times for symbolism during the vigil. (Be sure to keep a close eye on them, though. Burning your house down is not a tradition we want to keep alive.)

This is a time for feasting and celebration. This is a time to think of your fellow man. This is a time to help someone less fortunate to survive the winter. This is a time to try to be courteous. Wish someone a Happy Holiday (just in case, for some odd reason, they don't celebrate Yule), and remember that whatever your holiday, whatever your religion or lack thereof, it doesn't hurt to keep this a season of kindness and generosity. Enjoy the season, and enjoy your life, or something close to it.

My Computer Ate My Homework

I am about to delve back into it again, but decided for just a moment to indicate my frustration. The Yule post, that I still plan on posting in the morning, was complete. Quite lengthy, but complete. All I needed to do was figure out what the new format did with my option to decrease the font size of my disclaimer on the link I used and then save it for posting in the morning. I probably should have saved it first. Now it is gone, and it is time for me to launch into it a second time. Rest assured, though, that if it doesn't appear in the morning, that the computer fought with me continuously and it met an honorable death after a plunge from this window in front of me.

If the post is there in the morning, then the computer is safe. If it isn't, I may owe my dad a new computer. Either way that's just life, or something close to it.

More Firsts

I don't know if I mentioned the fact Emily rolled over for the first (and second) time while I was watching her the night I fell down the stairs. She still hasn't done it for Martha so it's our little trick.

We are now dealing with a couple of more firsts: Her first cold and her first ear infection. She has this barky little cough especially designed to make her father cringe. She is also getting hoarse so when she cries (much of the time) it is a sad muted sound.

So the post intended for today will be delayed, as I deal with my miserable little one. I would be glad to prevent her from ever being sick, but I know I can't. If only I could forestall it until she was old enough to realize that it's just part of life, or something close to it.

Simple Things

Yesterday was a day of several noteworthy events. (To me, anyway. None of this will matter to you folks I am sure.)

First off, I have been suspended from work for a day for inappropriate dealings with a client. Actually the client was abusing a large number of people before they got to me, and so everyone including my boss (for the most part) applauded my efforts. Still, I understand that obviously we would open up a great big can of worms if people follow my example of customer service approaches, so I have Monday off.

Second, MC and Stefan came by to drag me out to the casino. I was in too much pain for such a lengthy car ride so I opted out, but before they left the four of us (Martha being the fourth) played some poker at my place. After a closely contested match, the result was MC being kind enough to donate $5 to me. (1/4 of what he will be likely to win back from me in the weeks to come.)

Third, the Lisanocerous said words that I never expected to hear anyone say to me: "I finished reading your book." Now I am really looking forward to the upcoming holiday season, at some point of which I can sit down and get more in depth about her opinions about what works, what doesn't, what needs more explanation etc...
I've had kind of an odd feeling since then. Once more the story, which I finished the first draft of last Christmas, is running through my head and I realize that I will finally have the feedback necessary to dive into the story again and fix it. The characters are alive again and, like with the prodigail son, I am celebrating the return of many long lost friends, whom I had thought doomed to obscurity through total disinterest of those around me.

So those are a couple of the little tokens from my life, or something close to it.

The Google Trick

Google.com is the world's most popular search engine. When you go to Google.com, you type in a word or phrase, and there's two options. Google Search comes up with a list of all relevant links, and I'm Feeling Lucky automatically takes you to the most relevant site to what you searched for.

Try searching for "failure" using I'm Feeling Lucky.

You have no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes.

We all know Wanderer has a total addiction to those friggin' quizzes, so I decided to go to that site and see if I could find some he'd like.

This led me to a horrifying discovery.

I will admit that every quiz he's posted is decent, or at least interesting and executed acceptably. Which means, seeing as I spent half an hour looking for one without "u" "ur" or "(girlz only plz)" in it, and the only ones I found sucked balls, this must mean he spends hours searching for a quiz to take at a time.

He is a very sick man, with no life, or something.

Yesterday's Fun

I had planned on coming on last night and posting about the Longest Moon (Yesterday's full moon) like I did last month. Originally I was going to post it at midnight, but I went to be early, so I figured I would get to it after I got home from work yesterday. When I got home from work my wife was already gone, so I played with my daughter for a few minutes, then intending to come on and post it when she laid down. (Although said posting would have been after the moon's rise at 4:16pm, but I already got home too late to detail that anyway.)

I took the baby upstairs and put her down to sleep and went down to have a cigarette. We had a minor ice storm last night. I knew it was coming when I went outside. I didn't know it had already left some treacherous ice cover. Like on the steps off of my porch. Instead of the usual four steps down it only took one, and a much rougher landing. I landed on my back and cracked my head pretty good on the steps.

When I came back in, my mother was good enough to point out that if I had quit smoking I wouldn't have fallen. Then she pointed to the baby monitor and informed me that Emily wasn't staying asleep.

So between trying to care for the baby with one arm and ignore the pain in my back, head and entire left side, I kind of neglected the post. I will resume it again next month. Unless someone starts clamoring for a belated post on the subject. (I won't hold my breath.)

That's most of the excitement of the last day or two, and I am preparing to drug myself and go back to sleep. So, the rest of you might as well return to your life, or something close to it.

I'm Apparently Really Going To Hell

So says the quiz:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I guess that's (after)life, or something close to it.

Year in Review

I ran across this on Turtleheartcove and figured I would see how lame it turned out:
(Don't forget I started this blog in June, so there isn't much here at that.)

Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005. Post the first line of it in your journal, and that’s your “Year In Review.”

June: I must say that I am not highly familiar with such a format than this.

July: Salutations and greetings.

August: Sorry that I haven't been around for the last week or so.

September: I will start by pointing out to MC that the five days since my last post doesn't actually qualify as a week.

October: Martha's ten year reunion from high school just came around.

November: That about sums it up.

December: Oddly enough MC posted this hours before I went on line with the intention of removing him since he wasn't posting anything and my picture wasn't showing because of him.

Gee, and Turtleheart said hers wasn't exciting. :) Well, that's my life, or somethign close to it.

Reflections On A Man

When I left work Friday afternoon, I stopped in a bar across the street from where I work to grab a beer before I headed home. I sat, chatted with the bartender, drank my beer, and then left to go catch my bus.

I was slow in getting downtown to the bus stop and arrived in time to see my bus pull away. The next one wouldn't be coming for twenty minutes. Fortunately there was something to do to pass the time. Just down the street from the bus stop was a familiar news truck, with a familiar driver. My father.

I went and chatted with him for a while to pass the time as I waited for the bus, and he waited for anything of note to happen with the standoff in the Salvation Army building a block away. Some volunteer was holding another woman hostage. So we talked for a few minutes until it was time for me to catch the next bus and head home.

When the bus got to Dewey Avenue we pulled up alongside the bus that I would normally have taken and picked a few people up. The rest of the riders were standing around and talking to the police. From our new passengers we learned that a fight had broken out on the bus and someone had been stabbed. This on the bus that I take home from work almost every day. Except I missed it today. Divine intervention? Probably not, unless alcoholism counts. Still, the timing was fortunate.

Later on in the evening I went to the store to buy a case of beer and some cigarettes while the baby was napping and my mother was still up to listen for her. When I got to the store, a man entered behind me, with one hand in his coat pocket and stood off to the side. He kept pacing and looking at the counter, and then looking out the door.

I watched his behavior for a moment or two and came to the conclusion that he was probably planning on holding up the place and that he was just waiting for a couple of the customers to get out of the way so that there were less people to worry about. I was just preparing to tell the cashier that she should probably call the police when the man left and drove away.

Both of these incidents are somewhat lacking in anything remarkable, but I have been focusing on them both for the last couple of days due to my reaction to them. I was thankful I wasn't on the bus when the fight broke out and one of the men got shoved into a pregnant woman (relayed from witnesses) and was subsequently stabbed. Primarily because the fact that I would be unlikely to sit by after the pregnant woman became involved, and the result could likely have been me being stabbed.

I was thankful the man didn't pull a gun or other weapon and try to hold the store up for similar reasons. When I thought the man had a gun I started processing various potential scenarios, and they all revolved around the concept that I was going to get hurt. That was one of the given assumptions. It has bothered me since then to realize that my instinctive reaction had nothing to do with standing back, leaving the store or just doing as I was told. Convenience stores get robbed without anyone being hurt all the time. These thoughts didn't come into my mind. I instantly assumed I would react, and in doing so I would probably get hurt.

Now obviously nobody knows how they would react in a situation until they are faced with it. Still it concerns me slightly, knowing I have a wife and daughter to care for, that when I am certain I am facing a dangerous situation the thought of compliance or playing it safe didn't cross my mind. If my actions in such a situation would turn out to follow my instincts pre-violence, I must say that this would be a good way to shorten my life, or something close to it.

How do you know you're addicted?

You are the Wheel of Fortune card. The Wheel of
Fortune continues one of the major themes of
the major arcana: balance. Here the universal
tendency towards balance is described by the
Law of Karma. Karma is your destiny as a result
of actions you have taken in the past. For
example, treating the elderly in a mean fashion
would result in you being treated in a like
manner as you age. This is because you have
introduced and perpetuated a mode of behaviour
that becomes an ingrained pattern in your
subconscious so that as an elder you expect
others to treat you with disrespect. The Wheel
of Fortune also operates on a scale larger than
ourselves. Our fate or destiny is in part
determined by factors beyond our control. An
obvious example is that you would not be able
to read these words without the invention of
the internet, which has impacted millions of
people who had absolutely nothing to do with
its creation. Luck describes these external
forces over which we have no control and is the
province of the Wheel of Fortune. Image from
the Aquatic Tarot deck.
http://www.atarot.de/AquaticTarot/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, so I am a little addicted to these quiz things. It isn't that I go looking for them, I just frequent several blogs of people who also appear to be addicted. It is unfortunate that few every respond with how these things rate them (even if they are hardly solid psychological profiles), but I guess that's just life or something close to it.

A Couple Of Pictures

The great thing about my sister having a camera phone is that it allows me to share these little moments in my life, or something close to it.

The Little Big Fight, or The Mexican Standoff

Mc again.

I had a few friends over to my house tonight for poker, when the concept of fighting each other came about. Originally, we were deciding odds on a fight between Bib, an early 30s pothead who's small but wiry, a chain smoker who's been in lots of fights and has experience, and Phill, a 21 year old who is very small but fit, and not very experienced but much more energetic. It turns out that Bib's teeth prevent him from fighting right now, as he claims one shot to the jaw would incapacitate him, so that ideas was cancelled.

I still wanted people to fight, though, so I suggested a fight between myself and Mike, a 300 pounder who is vicious and has no qualms about violence. I myself come in around 220 and I am a bit out of shape, but quite muscular and I've been in a lot of fights. Additionally I just got out of the Army and while I was in, I voluntarily took a lot of advanced unarmed combatives courses, mostly in sambo. Also, I really enjoy fighting, so I wanted to fight the biggest, meanest guy there, but he wouldn't do it unless people paid him, and I'm not about to pay someone to fight me when I can call a redneck a queer and get a fight for free, so that was cancelled.

Looking at it logically, the only two people who wanted to fight and were able to was myself and Phill, but the problem is, I'm much, much bigger than Phill and he's afraid of me because of how badly I had beaten him and some other comers (wink) boxing a few years ago. The vetter, Bib, put the odds at 500 to 1 in my favor, so we had to come up with a more realistic handicapping system: my right (dominant) arm was tied behind my back, and the odds were set at 3 to 1 in my favor, but no one was willing to bet on Phill.

So we went out to the back yard under a floodlight, and we squared off, Phill in his 110 pound glory and me with a club (like the card suit) drawn over my fist for morale reasons and my right arm secured behind my back. At fuirst it was pretty standoffish, I would throw a left jab at Phill and he would block, and come back but I'd just bat his hands away.
I formulated the plan of getting my hand at his throat and giving him a leg sweep, but getting my hand around his throat was easier said than done, so I just went with the leg sweep. My sweep landed hard against his right knee, and he came at me, but as I tried to grab him, I wound up just shoving him away. There was a point where I stepped on his foot and tried to use that to hold him in place, but with the snow out it was difficult to pin him down like that either. He got in a good sternum punch, I had a few more kicks to the legs trying to get him on the ground where I could manhandle him. Eventually, there occurred an opportunity to really nail him when he bent forward after my knee to his midsection, and I took a wild uppercut haymaker, which just missed his head by an inch and a half or so by his account. After that, there were some bullcharges, I tried a switch kick which just came into his guard, and we were basically unable to do anything decisive because he was way too small and I only had one hand to work with, so he conceded because my leg sweep attempts were wreaking havoc on his knees. I was pronounced the victor but it felt pretty hollow, because no one would bet against me, and I don't feel like I really won, just because he gave up cause his knees were killing him.

Anyways, the point of the story is, I will fight anyone anytime anywhere for any reason, and in the future Mike and I may fight, we'll sell admission and if he can get enough money that way to motivate him, we'll do it. So that's in the works for the future, and if it occurs, I'm sure Wanderer will be in attendance and either he or I will recount it to you.(life, or something close to it)

A lazy day

Not much to do today. Just lounging about with my daughter. Well, right now she is asleep, so I am hanging out at the computer.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I might post about when I got around to it. Unfortunately I never get around to it, and have forgotten much of what I was going to post about. Only one comes to mind right now.

I was holding Emily the other day and feeding her, and she had her head back so that she could look at me while she ate. I love it when she does that. It makes me wonder what, if anything, she is thinking. In this particular case, though, I looked away for a moment and then looked back to find her still staring at me, but there was a single tear on her cheek.

I just sat and stared at it for a moment as it slowly made it's way down her face. She was still smiling, so I am sure it was just a reaction to the light, or some dust or something, but it was one of the most amazing things that I have ever seen.

At this point I have dealt with her many times when she was screaming, crying or laughing. There have never been any actual tears, though. The presence of this one little drop of water was something unique. Something special. Something I was in awe of.

I realized at that moment that the sight was one I would probably treasure in memory for some time. I also realized that this was probably the only time that I would smile at the sight. Even as I looked on, I realized that I would do anything to prevent having to see those tears be real. To see her cry because she hurt.

She must know I am thinking about her. She is waking up as I write this. I can hear her talking to herself in the other room. Time to get her and feed her again. I would spend more time talking about her, but I would rather hang out with her. That's just life, or something close to it.

Yeah, another one.

I am still working on things to post, I promise.


You are a Werewolf.
What legend are you? Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

Too tire to post anything real

Oddly enough MC posted this hours before I went on line with the intention of removing him since he wasn't posting anything and my picture wasn't showing because of him. Now he shows a willingness to contribute. (I'll have you know, MC, that I even worked out how I was going to explain how the action was truly my own narcissism combined with the fact I could always re-allow the ability to you if chose to post again.) I would swear you got some divine inspiration to affect your timing, but then you don't believe in God. I think that means that if you were divinely inspired you wouldn't believe what you said. However, given that I am certain an attempt to wake up and apply logic to the previous statement would effectively destroy it, I am instead going to bed.

(Oh yeah, and there is something about life or something close to it that I should mention here.)

A Brief Word from the Guy You Hate

Hey,

I wanted to clarify a little bit because some of the private communications I've been receiving are showing that people don't understand where I'm coming from when I say I lose respect for you when I find out you're religious.

The above is true and I stand by it. In my eyes, it's the same as when you find out an adult believes in Santa Claus and is continually disappointed that Santa didn't bring him any presents year after year after year but refuses to wonder why. But what I'd like to put to you is this simple reflective exercise.

If you will indulge me for twenty seconds, which is not a lot of time out of your day, please imagine that you are meeting someone new. This person says "I knocked one of my teeth out on that stupid doorknob, but at least I'll get a quarter for it from the Tooth Fairy." You laugh a little bit, but the prson looks at you oddly for doing so. He then goes on to explain that he's up about $30 from the Tooth Fairy lifetime total, with no trace of a smile or humor. You ask the person "You mean, you're not kidding? You believe in the Tooth Fairy?" and he says yes, in an earnest fashion and you pick up that he is serious.

Isolate the feeling you feel right now. Isolate and articulate to yourself what you are thinking of that person. It is without malice, but it is without respect, as well. This is how I feel about all of you. Some people have done enough and said enough to earn more respect than they lose, like Wanderer. But as he and I discussed at length on our way to the casino last weekend (let us never speak of that particular session of blackjack ever again), the loss of respect is there and I choose not to lie about it.

So please stop e-mailing me unless you have something more constructive than "JESUS WONT SAV SNNERZ U FOOL!!!lolz", or "I'm a Marine and a college graduate and a Presbyterian. How can you say you don't respect me?" of which I've gotten many variations. I'd just stop having my e-mail be public, but I think those sae twenty people would just keep e-mailing me anyways.

I refuse to end this with life, or something close to it.