Reflections On A Man

When I left work Friday afternoon, I stopped in a bar across the street from where I work to grab a beer before I headed home. I sat, chatted with the bartender, drank my beer, and then left to go catch my bus.

I was slow in getting downtown to the bus stop and arrived in time to see my bus pull away. The next one wouldn't be coming for twenty minutes. Fortunately there was something to do to pass the time. Just down the street from the bus stop was a familiar news truck, with a familiar driver. My father.

I went and chatted with him for a while to pass the time as I waited for the bus, and he waited for anything of note to happen with the standoff in the Salvation Army building a block away. Some volunteer was holding another woman hostage. So we talked for a few minutes until it was time for me to catch the next bus and head home.

When the bus got to Dewey Avenue we pulled up alongside the bus that I would normally have taken and picked a few people up. The rest of the riders were standing around and talking to the police. From our new passengers we learned that a fight had broken out on the bus and someone had been stabbed. This on the bus that I take home from work almost every day. Except I missed it today. Divine intervention? Probably not, unless alcoholism counts. Still, the timing was fortunate.

Later on in the evening I went to the store to buy a case of beer and some cigarettes while the baby was napping and my mother was still up to listen for her. When I got to the store, a man entered behind me, with one hand in his coat pocket and stood off to the side. He kept pacing and looking at the counter, and then looking out the door.

I watched his behavior for a moment or two and came to the conclusion that he was probably planning on holding up the place and that he was just waiting for a couple of the customers to get out of the way so that there were less people to worry about. I was just preparing to tell the cashier that she should probably call the police when the man left and drove away.

Both of these incidents are somewhat lacking in anything remarkable, but I have been focusing on them both for the last couple of days due to my reaction to them. I was thankful I wasn't on the bus when the fight broke out and one of the men got shoved into a pregnant woman (relayed from witnesses) and was subsequently stabbed. Primarily because the fact that I would be unlikely to sit by after the pregnant woman became involved, and the result could likely have been me being stabbed.

I was thankful the man didn't pull a gun or other weapon and try to hold the store up for similar reasons. When I thought the man had a gun I started processing various potential scenarios, and they all revolved around the concept that I was going to get hurt. That was one of the given assumptions. It has bothered me since then to realize that my instinctive reaction had nothing to do with standing back, leaving the store or just doing as I was told. Convenience stores get robbed without anyone being hurt all the time. These thoughts didn't come into my mind. I instantly assumed I would react, and in doing so I would probably get hurt.

Now obviously nobody knows how they would react in a situation until they are faced with it. Still it concerns me slightly, knowing I have a wife and daughter to care for, that when I am certain I am facing a dangerous situation the thought of compliance or playing it safe didn't cross my mind. If my actions in such a situation would turn out to follow my instincts pre-violence, I must say that this would be a good way to shorten my life, or something close to it.