My Boots Are Dying

I have another post planned that was going to appear here. It is written in a notebook, after the one I posted and before the other one in the notebook. Those two will have to wait. Why? The easy answer is, because it is my blog. The slightly deeper answer is that it is because my boots are dying.

To be completely accurate, I should address the fact that some of you might immediately react to the above statement with the obvious. My boots are inanimate objects, thus have never been alive, thus cannot be dying. You couldn't be further from the truth.

These boots were not purchased by me. In fact, in my lifetime, I have only purchased one pair of external footware. A pair of boots I still own, that must be in storage somewhere. I put them aside the day I bought them, in favor of these boots I now where.

Why the lack of footware purchase? Simple formula. I had my parents buying my clothes and shoes and etc... all through school. This continued right into high school and the immediate following period. Fairly shortly out of high school, I went into the service. Three sets of footwear bought for me by your tax dollars. (Come to think of it, I bought a pair of boots then too, so two total. Those boots were rendered unserviceable years ago.) My combat boots stayed as my mainstay from the point my jump boots lost their soles (the other pair I bought) a couple of years out of the service, until four or five years ago. While at work I tore open the sole of one of them and had to replace them in the middle of the work day. I bought a pair of cheap boots, which I hated, that day. That evening, MC and Jamesomeone came to visit with me and when I told them what happened, and how much I hated those boots, Jamesomeone gave me a pair he had from when he was a volunteer fireman. He said he had no use for them.

I have worn those boots ever since. They used to have zippers on the side, but both broke, leaving me having to tie and untie them like a normal boot. But now, one of the boots is separating on the back. There already exists about a four inch separation from the sole. They are unserviceable and promising to get worse in a hurry.

Why so huge? Well, for those of you who are new to the blog, or don't remember the connection, I lost Jamesomeon over a year ago. These boots I wear daily are my last direct connection with him. I mean, I have a pair of dress shoes that were also his, but how often does one wear those? This daily connection is gone, and nothing I will can restore this. This is bad enough on its own, if not presented with the additional problem. The same problem that existed at the time. Decent boots are expensive. I haven't got the money to replace them. Just like then. Not just the cost to replace them exactly, but even comparably. Payless doesn't believe in boots that reach above an inch or so beyond a high top sneaker.

On top of the comfort level I have known for over a decade, is the connection. I don't know how to handle boots that just serve a purpose. Even the boots I wore in the service held a purpose in the service. My combat boots spoke of something. These boots a friend gave spoke of that friendship. With his loss, they spoke of the only connection I had left with him.

Now I will have no boots. I will have no connection. I will undoubtedly begin wearing a pair of shoes, gotten from a donation from a church via my mother-in-law, much as I get most of my clothes. They will not be what I need. They will serve no purpose, and have no connection to anything important to me, other than not being barefoot. They will be nothing.

I assume to all of you this means nothing. But I have lost my boots. To me, that is life, or something close to it.