Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Where did my links go?

Well, once more my links are on the bottom of the page. I know why now, but it is, to the best of my knowledge, merely a matter of time once more before they return. Reason? The Religion quiz is too wide. (Note how the underline portion sticks out to the right?) So, until I have posted enough to make that quiz drop into the archives, the links and buttons and stuff will once more reside on the bottom of the screen. Sorry. That's just blogger life, or something close to it.

How Much Of A Nerd Am I?

Well, I took a quiz to find out. (Found thanks to Cheeky)

I am nerdier than 53% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Give me a minute and I am sure I can think of a way to incorporate the phrase: Life, or something close to it.

Monday, February 27, 2006

A surprising result on the religion quiz

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

Paganism

83%

Buddhism

79%

Hinduism

67%

Judaism

63%

Satanism

46%

agnosticism

42%

Christianity

38%

atheism

38%

Islam

29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com


Who would have thought I would rate highest as a Pagan? One of the great mysteries of life, or something close to it.

My Blog Color

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff.
You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas.
However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.


Interesting that I found this. Do you have any idea how many times I have thought my blog might be the wrong color? Zero. So I guess it remains black. Just a colorful choice in life, or something close to it.

Link Changes

I added and removed some links from the sidebar. I have lost several of the blogs I frequented, one with a warning (sans explanation - not that I think he owed me one) and three just vanished. Those three were all related in some manner to each other, so I hope all is well with them, but suspect they jointly decided to retire. I don't know. Anyway, since they were being removed I added a couple of recent ones I have been visiting.

No huge changes all around, just cleaning house. By the way, Cindy, you are now the sole lumberjack as a result of said housecleaning.

That is all. Just a couple of minor changes, hardly affecting your life, or something close to it.

More Pictures



Emily with her little party hat on at Anthony's first birthday party.



Anthony moments before shredding his birthday cupcake.



Anthony looking for more baked goods to mangle.



Emily home again, making her own mess with her peas and cereal.

And that concludes my photo essay on two little lives, or something close to it.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Returning To Me (A.K.A. Who cares?)

I am finally sitting down to work on it again. The book, the first draft of which I last touched over a year ago. I have been avoiding it this long because of the very pain it gives me as I open this up and prepare to go to work.

This book originated as a tale I started telling my wife over two years ago. I spent eight months telling her a story the entirety of which I can never hope to get on paper. Still, I enjoyed that time, telling this story to my wife, and I sat down to put it on paper and share with others besides her. I had always been better orating than putting on paper, but having already done the first, I thought the latter would be easier handled. I was wrong. It was difficult, and having already told the story, albeit this part being eight months earlier, I still found it difficult to put the words the way I wanted to in order to get the story across.

I probably wouldn't have succeeded at even going that far, if not for the fact that I was informed that several people were interested. One in particular. As such, I worked on getting it out on a regular basis and getting it to this person so that we could discuss it, I could get her input, and I could polish it up to share with the world this little world I created.

I outpaced her, providing more material than she was reading at the speed that she was covering it. Still, I provided a joint ultimatum. I would finish the first draft by Christmas so that it could all be in one piece and we could work on it together. I missed my deadline for myself by a little bit. I finished it by the end of the year. She missed the deadline. It is gathering dust on her desk, over a year later.

This would be bad enough if it weren't for the fact that the ending sucks. It sucks because I took a couple of the aspects of what was going on, jammed them on and capped the end, so that while it looked horrible, it would give the idea I was working on for when I reworked it with her. Why did I cap a crappy end on it? Simple. I sold out to a lie. The lie that someone was actually interested. A lie that I clung to.

I minimized my own work for the sake of what I thought ultimately would be forward progress. It wasn't. The couple of failures I recognized were affirmed by the only person who actually has backed up their own claim of interest (thank you Lisanocerous), and I am left with working on it on my own, as I would have been originally.

What is the problem? Without interest, what is the point in writing it? If my creations will never see the light of day, why let them gather dust on pieces of paper when they could be doing the same thing inside my head? Yet, all things being said, I will continue. I have a new reason. I will prove that if nobody else cares enough to walk through something that is this important to me; if nobody close to me can understand that they play the roles of friends and family with reasonable facsimile, while most of them don't know the slightest thing about who I really am; if my willingness to surrender myself has made it unnecessary for anyone to bother to know what's going on in my head, then fuck it. I will prove myself for once by myself. I will reach beyond those people who are comfortable with minimizing the reality of me, to those who don't know me well enough to do that yet. I will prove to the strangers out there all of this that I can't show the people who claim to know me.

Finally, I will do it because I have come to know these characters so well that I can't help but declare that they have the right to live, even if those closest to me refuse to acknowledge the most minor of possibilities that I can provide that life.

So that is what they will get. Fiction or not, this will be their life, or something close to it.

The White Wolf Considers Heaven And Hell

A contingency of my consideration of my faith, particularly based on where I began, was the question of heaven and hell. The concept of salvation. That's one of the most important things to consider, right? Isn't that what the whole Jesus story is supposed to be about?

It is generally presented that you are given one of two ultimate options. Either you go to heaven or you go to hell when you die. Tough choice isn't it? I am sure a lot of you lie awake for long hours every night trying to figure out which one of these destinations you would prefer to go to. Of course not. Eternal paradise or eternal damnation. I'll take paradise thanks. That simple right?

Of course not. Otherwise there wouldn't be a point to waving it around would there? It isn't a simple matter of choosing to go to heaven. Some preachers throw that around, but it isn't. The part that many of the televangelists play down is that even by their own teachings, choosing to go to heaven isn't the final answer. It doesn't remove the difficulties and the stumbling blocks. We are still human. You can't just say, I am going to do this from now on and do it. If you think you can, talk to an addict.

What's the deal with the trial period, though? Why do the two sides exist? Because it is the duality that man loves. You choose God, you follow the rules, you go to heaven. You don't, you go to hell. See, that's an important lesson. Obey God. It's good for you.

Therefore, it comes down to the choices that we make. This is where it gets very murky. If we are allowed to make the choices to get us there, doesn't God recognize that we are human and fallible? That the heart might be in the right place? Wouldn't there have to be a contextual component to this test? There would have to be. A loving God couldn't allow us to fail merely because we are who he made us to be.

What if the choices aren't ours? What if we are living out the plan that he created, filling the roles that we are supposed to fill in order for the end result to be achieved? Well, then, wouldn't a loving God have to let us into heaven based on the fact that it really wasn't our choice at all?

You see, heaven isn't the difficult concept to wrap your mind around. Hell is. Eternal damnation. Why? How can you reconcile yourself to a faith that metaphorically allows you to take anywhere from 1st grade math to beginning algebra and then test you on advance astrophysics? God is immense, we comparatively don't match up, but are we called to? If not, what are we called to match up to? Man? But man changes. Times change. This is an extremely low standard.

Now an argument has been made, ad nauseum, that we have the scriptures, and they explain what God wants clearly. They don't. If they did, we wouldn't still have factions debating every other verse 2000 years later. If, in fact, they are inspired, they don't give us the clear word. What they do is demonstrate how infathomable God is.

So the trial is not an acceptable theory. It makes God unpredictable and unworthy of our worship no matter how you lay it out. If this is the case, and heaven and hell must have another purpose.

This too has frequently been explained. Heaven is basking in the presence of God. Hell is suffering in the absence. You don't get there by trial, you get there by rejecting God. Now this sounds good. Again, back on track to living the holy, spiritual life.

But again you must consider, that refusing the presence of God wouldn't be a conscious choice if you had another. Nobody's going to say, sorry, God, I am too cool for you. This isn't an active decision. What, then, is it?

It would have to be based on shutting out the concept of God. Refusing to acknowledge the possibility and let God speak to you. Now we get to the core of what your average individual can follow. Open up, listen, take stock of what you come up with. Then see if you can deal with what you hear.

This is where the journey gets interesting. What do you hear when you do this? I don't know the case for the rest of you, but soon I will answer that one for myself, upon reflecting enough to be able to relay it as accurately as possible, years later.

Until then, remember, the White Wolf segments don't end with "Life, or something close to it."

Friday, February 24, 2006

The Charge of the Goddess

Note: There are two other posts following this one. One is another link, and one is a lengthy post of my own.

Here, thanks to Wildhunt.Org, I have come across an interesting evaluation of the Charge of the Goddess:

Part one, Part two, Part three, Part four

A link to someone else's reflections on life, or something close to it.

Some Fanatics Should Simply Be Shot

Yes, I know that comment was fanatical itself, but look at this: (The author prologues a bit, but I suggest you withhold judgement until you read the whole thing and see what she is actually talking about.)

Fred Phelps should be shot.

He is a waste of life, or something close to it.

Meddling

I am so sick of people meddling in affairs that are none of their business and have no impact on them. Now, I will grant that at times people rights have been infringed upon, and they were in a minority position without a voice. This is a different aspect all together. When white people stood up for black rights, it really didn't directly impact their lives, but that was a human rights issue.

Again the arguments have come up on other lists, so I am going to take the rare opportunity to espouse one of my political position. The argument again centered around the question of homosexuality. Those of you who know me well, know that this is a big issue that I get involved in frequently, due to JW, my cousin Bridget and my Aunt Dottie primarily.

Now some of you may already jump in and say that I am doing what I claimed I was sick of, but that would only be if you don't understand my relationship with JW. Let me point out the issue to you folks.

People have been protesting homosexuality for years. They will undoubtedly do so for years to come. It would be great if one day people didn't blink an eyelash about the subject, but that isn't going to happen.

However, the last couple of years the Christian right has been pushing to try and forestall the horrors of a homosexual marriage. This is what gets to me. Yeah, you can say it is sinful and God is against it. You'd be wrong, but you could say it. Unfortunately, our government is not set up to give your God a vote. The system is set up to care for the people.

Now lets look at the impact two women being allowed to marry would have on the rest of us. It has been said that it will open the door to polygamy and incest. The former is a socio-economical nightmare, the latter a major health risk. Nope, don't think there are any concerns there. It's been said it will destroy the sanctity of marriage. Nope, the only person who can bestow or destroy the sanctity of your marriage is you and/or your spouse.

When I got married, how many of you did it actually impact? None of you. If JW were to find a woman and marry her tomorrow, how many of you would it actually impact? None of you.

Who does it impact? These women (or men). For them this is a huge deal. Yeah they could declare themselves married, but without legal backing there are many issues. How would you like to go to the hospital where your spouse lay in critical condition and be informed by the doctor that he couldn't tell you what was going on because you weren't family? That you would have to contact the "real" family. Ones that may not be on speaking terms with you. Ones that may not have spoken to her for years making the important decisions, instead of you who live with and love her.

Imagine living with your loved one for years, even decades and when they pass being told you could lay claim to nothing of hers. Dishes, furniture, even the house you live in being claimed by her "next of kin."

How about little things like being able to legally refuse to testify as to conversations you had with your spouse.

With a legally recognized marriage a person can designate that the person they have married is someone they love, trust and depend on. The action instantaneously provides hundreds of rights to the individual that you marry and to yourself that can possibly be achieved otherwise only by mountains of paperwork, time and effort. Those mountains still can't necessarily protect the other individual in the case of something serious happening to you.

In short, two women getting married will not rock your world. For the most part, you probably won't even notice. It will change so much for them though. And it isn't some great advantage over you that it would provide. It is merely a question of equality.

Allowing two women to marry will not create a situation where suddenly we have women living together, sleeping together, loving each other, sharing finances and the little details of their lives. This is already going on. Disallowing it, then, will not stop any of this. It just comes down to the rights of your loved one and whom you have the right to designate to have those rights.

We regularly champion the great civil rights leaders that ended slavery and segregation. Who got women the right to vote and work to provide them equal rights in the workplace. Yet somehow we still think we have the right to interfere in the daily lives of certain individuals.

At what point do the latest round of civil rights activists stand up and say, "Look. You should not have the right to tell me who executes my estate. You do not have the right to tell me who can make medical decisions if I need them. You do not have the right to tell me whose hands I place my life, my heart and my soul in. This does not effect you, and I am not going to sit on the back of the bus while you pretend that this is a moral issue that you have a say in."

Just a fucked up state of affairs in our life, or something close to it.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

A New Arrival

While sitting around with Emily today, she went to work chewing on my thumb as she has been doing more frequently again in the last few days. While having grown accustomed to the at times vise-like grip on my thumb, I was surprised by the a repeated pin prick accompanying it. It turns out that my baby girl now has a little tooth coming through. (Ahead of her one month older cousin I might add.) Where has the time gone? Tomorrow she will be in college.

Well, maybe that is an exaggeration, but for now, we have one more tiny step in a little life, or something close to it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Religion and survival

The Christian mindset says that if I killed myself tonight I would burn in hell for eternity. The reincarnation set says that I would just come back to face the same troubles. The atheists would say that there would simply be nothing. None of these things scare me. Sometimes I wonder if I got married out of survival instinct. I take my vows seriously and my demise wouldn't prevent the hardships of my wife and daughter, it would compound them.

This last is the only thing that concerns me. It may well be unfortunate for my wife and daughter that it life insurance companies have such well trained investigators. If not it would be extremely easy to insure my role of providing for my family was taken care if.

Just one more reflection on life, or something close to it.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

More Pointless Things

I found this here.

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!


While I have no qualms about the status of wierdness, I imagine the author of this quiz wouldn't rate me so low if they met me or delved deeper. After all, I don't see as how most of the answers offered would rate someone as wierd or normal. (Well, the herpes or the foreign country questions maybe.) Anyway, there is another label on my life, or something close to it.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

StatCounter Revisited

At the risk of obscuring a more serious post below this one, I had to point out that I finally have keyword analysis worth pointing to. Folks apparently found me by searching for "characteristics of boring lessons" and "gambling alonon." Neither of these is actually very flattering, and it is still more boring than some of the x-rated hits the rest of you get, but I find it funny.

The Quickening Moon

(Note, following this is the next White Wolf Installment)

The Quickening Moon rose over Rochester, NY at 5:08pm, and will set tomorrow at 7:40am. It officially becomes full at 11:44pm tonight.

In Farmington, New Mexico it rose at 5:31pm and will set 7:33am tomorrow. It became full at 9:44pm
(It always becomes full at the same point regardless of where you are on the planet, the difference in time is a time zone thing.)

The full moon this month is the Quickening Moon. As I touched on with Imbolc, the reason for this is that this is the time of year where creation is quickening once more. Livestock are beginning to produce milk, some shoots are beginning to sprout, seed in general have germinated and are beginning to produce for the coming year. Even while we see evidence of winter still holding on, the hints of spring are adding up and the planet prepares to bloom and thrive once more. The Goddess is awake and she is whispering to the planet to prepare, and be patient, soon she will return.

A White Wolf Examines Religious Texts

In the progression of this particular article, I am going to primarily address the Bible. I do so because that is the original book I assessed in my journey. I do this also because this is a book that many of my readers are familiar with. I implore you, however, to apply what I am saying to all religious texts, for this truly is my intent. The rules would apply to all such texts the same, and to think I am attacking only one would be to miss the point of that which I am saying and the conclusions that I came to. That being said, please don't just assume I am going to tell you that the book is worthless and throw it away. That couldn't be further from my perception of this situation. Lets get on with addressing the concepts that the Bible presents.

The Bible is supposed to be an inspired text. It is known as the word of God. Within which you found the laws, rules, warnings and lessons that God intended for mankind. In times of a crisis of faith, or a question of dogma, this is supposed to be the text that we go to in order to assess what is right and wrong.

Presuming this is true, let us address where it came from. How did we get our hands on such a valuable tome? One day, when we were lost, did God take a wander through the squalor in which we lived and hand over a gleaming binding between which could be found, in his own writing, the lessons that would change our lives forever? No. It was written by man. No matter what arguments and clarifications you plan on throwing out, lets get it clear out there that none of your beliefs indicate otherwise. Man put pen to paper to record the words. That is all I am saying.

But, many say, the men were inspired when they wrote this. They were merely the instruments used to record God's word. Fine. For the moment, I will say I believe you. Lets go with that. The answer? Hardly, it is merely the catalyst for the next question. (Funny how frequently that happens.)

Let us define how they were inspired. Inspiration is too vague to leave it at that, as we would be left with very disparate results on the validity of the Bible. Women have "inspired" poetry merely by walking down the streets. I am sure none would argue that those were not by default the woman's words in the poem, or even in conjunction with what her personal opinions would be. This isn't the type of inspiration that supposedly led to the Bible though. Those authors were inspired by the Holy Spirit. This is different. These folks were actually told what to write.

How were they told? Did they take shorthand while God dictated his words to them? I say he didn't. It wouldn't matter if he did, so my opinion stands for this continuation. I will, hopefully, point out how this is a minor point as this moves on. The alternative, and more believable possibility was that God spoke into the hearts of these men, he gave them a revelation, and they struggled to make that revelation understandable to us. Why more believable? Because this is how the Goddess speaks to us. She speaks to our heart, she teaches us the same lessons as she teaches our neighbors, but using our own hearts as translators, helps us to better understand.

Would this make the Bible, written out as it was by the men, based on their understandings, worthless to the rest of us? No. For She can just as easily open our hearts and hers in the translation of what we read. Remember, you aren't called upon to worship the Bible, but rather the God therein. It is the gateway, not the god. It is the modern Ark. (Read covenant, not Noah)

It does illustrate something, though. That you must read with your heart, not your head. Why? Because the words chosen may not have been the best. The context may have changed. No matter which scripture you read, you need her to explain what she really meant. It is a rare opportunity to read a book side by side with the author and allow them to explain. Seize it. This particular author is pretty talented.

Now here is where some of you are going to get your panties in a twist: One of the most important reasons to read alongside the author, is it allows the author the opportunity to point out the parts that are wrong.

Yep. I said it. There are parts in the bible that aren't just misinterpreted, but almost completely wrong. It was bound to happen when ghost written by a mere human. I will illustrate, however, one of the primary areas in which each of these texts have errors. It is in the area of the elapsing of time. God's word is eternal. Right? Not completely.

We tell our young children a lot of things that won't apply to their entire lives. We tell them not to go near the stove, while fully expecting that one day they will feed themselves. We tell them to never step out into the street without holding an adult's hands, knowing that one day the buddy system will no longer be incorporated. Similarly, some of the mandates given in the scriptures has become outdated based on the growth of the human race. You don't buy into this? Had a pork chop lately? Look back at Leviticus and see how mindful you are to the absolutes.

How then do we know which holds true and which doesn't? Conversation with the author. Does this provide for an absolute that a society can point to? Unfortunately not. Then again, you know faith by nature is not provable by science. If it was, it wouldn't be faith, it would be proof.

The last of my significant questions was why the conversation and the lessons stopped. Did God write his autobiography and then retire? Did he not only stop talking but stop writing as well?

I maintain the answer is no. The Bible, or whichever text you point to, wasn't supposed to be the last, and truly isn't. Case in point? Compare Paul's letters to Christian bloggers. What's the difference? Some are very faulty. So were many of Paul's contemporaries. Still many of you can point to those today, contemporaries of yours, who you would judge right on the money. Why aren't their sermons in the Bible?

I suppose I will leave it on one last inflammatory question. What makes the inspired nature of the writings in any of these holy texts any different than what appears here on this blog in italics? I was once asked why I speak for her. Would those of you who asked pose the same question to those authors of your religious text? Don't get me wrong, I have never considered myself anything but an average human being when I have translated those, but how much greater do you think those authors thought themselves?

Perhaps, then, the word is in fact living, and still moving and interacting with all of us, not collecting dust in a hallowed place on our bookshelf.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A Mother's Response

One of my children asked the following question, and I felt the need to give her an answer:

"If God knows a person will be murdered, that the plug will be pulled, that the bomb will fall…is anyone but God to blame? Did Jesus die on the cross because ultimately all Sin was God’s fault anyway…for coming up with a faulty plan. Of course not! That is just cynicism."
My initial question would simply be, what do you think the answer is? Don't worry, I am not leaving you in the dark on that simple response. I wouldn't have wasted my time talking to you otherwise.

Does what I know actually matter in your life? Do I not give you your choices? Would you prefer that I didn't?

Am I to blame for the loss of innocent life? Of course. Whom else would you blame? If you need to blame, and travel up the chain enough, I created the world in which it could happen. Thus, yes, I am to blame. You take yourself too far if you do this though. You can't remove yourselves. I am not the one who is murdering your brethren. I am not the one creating or dropping the bombs. You are.

Do not blame me for your failings. I gave you what you needed, and so many of you pervert it. Do you feel the need to kill? Then do it. Will I be saddened? Yes, but that doesn't change the rules. You will do as you wish.

Does this make me impotent? Frankly I don't care if you think that it does. You have ignored me all this time, or twisted me to your own rights, and still you do as you will. I am not weakened by my allowance of your self destruction. You are. You will never rise to rival me if you can't work with each other. Besides, you must remember that the rules were created by me. If you destroy yourselves within my rules, I still win. It is the game I created.

I know I come across by these statements as not caring, but you must remember who I am. I love you. Yet you cannot threaten me via your own self destruction. You cannot bargain with me, because you have nothing to offer me. I offer guidance, and care not whether you follow it. Why? Because eventually you will notice. I have forever. Literally.

If you want to know me, realize that cynicism shouldn't be why you argue against this thought process. Realize that it is a simple matter. I make the rules, and you play by them, whether you want to or not. I am your superior. You cannot draw a correlation. As such you must realize that these attacks you make on me by the actions of your fellows who also couldn't aspire to be me is foolish.

I have spent millenia instructing you on what I would have. Even those of you who recognize what I have done don't listen. I have millenia. You don't. Stop blaming and start listening. Ultimately your people will excel because of it. Therein is my promise. Heed and stop blaming me.

I help where I can. This alone should amaze you, since I have given you free will, and working around that fact to aid you and prevent your own self destruction should be enough to deserve your praise. Still, if you don't mean it, keep your mouth shut. I will be fine despite your reaction.

I will add that as my last. For those of you who feel I need more people to praise me, save your breath. If you mean it, call it to the heavens, and I will hear. I don't need it though. Worship and communion with me is for you, not for me. Work on helping the people, and if I play in then so be it. If not, let them do their best as a member of your race without acknowledging me, for it is better for all that way.

Care for each other, and heed what is important. Remember that what I want for you is effected little by who you think I am, and much by who you are yourselves. Finally, to acknowledge my own sense of humor, as per the standards of this mode of communication, I have one final piece of advice. Worry not about me, if that taxes you too much. First pay attention to your own life, or something close to it.

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Sunday, February 05, 2006

Super Bowl Champions

Congrats to the Steelers. My wife and her family are busily celebrating, as no doubt are Mosquito's family and the notorious B.I.B. Small and fleeting joys, but still smiles for this moment in life, or something close to it.

Why I am not an atheist

This question was posed to me in the comments a few weeks ago and I have been considering how to best explain my answer since then. It is a difficult one to formulate, as I see my explanation to him might be similar to attempting to explain the exhilaration of mountain biking to a fish. First the words to properly explain how you feel are difficult to come up with, and if you succeed in finding the words, the fish isn't likely to care. Still, I will answer, as best as I can at this point. I warn you ahead of time, though, that the answer isn't likely to be even close to what you are looking for.

First let me get the basics out of the way of what I am not going to say. I am not going to say that I look at the complexity of the world around me and realize that there has to have been an intelligent design to make it. No matter how complex and beautiful a tree, an ecosystem, or whatever other example you point out you are still left with the fact that your intelligent designer would also be a complex and beautiful thing, and you still haven't explained their existence.

I am also not going to say that I interact with the Goddess on a daily basis, and thus I know she is real. This is true, yet it doesn't help address your question at all.

On my journey, when I initially turned away from the church and extended my quest elsewhere, I considered the possibility that there was no God. In fact I referenced that question here. Several points came to mind at the time to refute this in my personal opinion. I will attempt to address them. First a preface. I will hold off the "what I can feel" aspect of things until after some basic examples. For the very few of you who may know the specifics of what I generically address, you will find a slight time line error in a couple of them. This is merely because they are examples of the general thought process. That is also why they are generic.

Why would I believe there is a God? When I was in the fourth grade I had a dream that my uncle was riding his motorcycle with his fiance when a truck pulled out in front of him and he slammed right into it. In my dream I heard my father laughing and was appalled enough to wake up, only to find that I could still hear it, or thought I did. He was in fact sobbing uncontrollably, having just gotten the news that his brother had been killed in the accident I envisioned. Point: Could I have overheard the conversation between him and my mother? Possible. I don't think he had managed to get the details out to her, though, beyond the fact that there was an accident. His fiance hadn't been mentioned.

A couple of weeks before this accident happened, my uncle had been in Rochester. When it was time for him to leave my mother went to hug him and say goodbye and he refused, joking around that it was no big deal, that she would see him again.

I lost touch with some of my friends when I went into the service. Nothing intentional, it just kind of happened. Everybody was going through their lives, and contact with the others wasn't always top priority. One friend in particular I hadn't talked to in around a year, when I suddenly had the urge to contact this individual. Beyond the urge, I had the outrageous idea that I knew about an accident that this person had been involved in. It was nearly three months before contact was reestablished, since numbers had changed in the lapsing period. When I did make contact I found out that the accident really had occurred, but fortunately my friend was fine.

I have frequently picked up the phone to call people and had them say, "I was just going to call you." Followed by some explanation of something that had occurred that they thought I should know. I've watched Jeopardy and known answers to questions that I couldn't explain how I could have known it.

Studies have been done (details of which I am not willing to take the time to look up right now) on the concept of the collective unconscious. I don't know what the final opinions have been in these studies. Yet above examples and many others have led me to understand that there is a certain element of inter-connectedness between us human beings.

Since we can't consciously tap into this network between us, we also can't consciously take advantage of it. Therefore we must rely on something else initiating it. Still, there are varying useful effects that have come out of it. All of this points me in the direction of being more inclined to believe that at the very least, as a race, we possess an unconscious God-hood between us. At the most there is actually a conscious entity out there and in control.

All of these above are arguments based on examples I can point to, even if another would have a different read on them. Much the same as my lady-bug example. Ultimately, though, they are no longer the driving points for me to believe. I talk to her and at times she answers. I feel and see her around me.

I am confident and comfortable in where my spiritual journey has taken me. Much more confident than I am that this provided you with what you are looking for. As I go on, one of my goals is to continually demonstrate my beliefs and my journey, so hopefully in the long run, if this didn't help, that will.

If not, I suppose that is life, or something close to it.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Imbolc

Today is the Sabbatt Imbolc. It is one of the greater Sabbatts. It honors the heralding of springtime. The little signs that show the Goddess is stirring and the planet will soon come to life again. While it is one of the Greater Sabbatts, I don't often hear of large groups gathering together in any major celebration for this one. Not that there aren't gatherings as in any of the others. Just that it doesn't generally bring the same excitement as most of the others do. At least not to modern people.

As we are no longer strictly in a position where winter is something to be survived, (and no guarantees on that) this festival does lean more towards being a teaser. It is the halfway point. Spring isn't here, but it is coming. The Goddess hasn't returned yet, but she is awake. Everything is beginning to move, which is exciting, still it points to the fact that it isn't ready yet.

As such, I have never taken part in any significant Imbolc celebrations, instead taking the time for quiet reflections and personal devotion. Therefore I can't share what those traditions might be. Well I could. If I sift through my Paganet's I could find the last Imbolc issue and pull ideas out of it. However I won't. I will give you this link. It goes into some of the mythology of Brigidhe and associations with this Sabbatt. If you wish to know more about this Sabbatt I will research, but for now, I leave you with the simple, boring aspect of what it means to me.

Edited

I am not going to add to this simply because MC pointed out that I didn't mention life, or something close to it.