Why I am not an atheist
This question was posed to me in the comments a few weeks ago and I have been considering how to best explain my answer since then. It is a difficult one to formulate, as I see my explanation to him might be similar to attempting to explain the exhilaration of mountain biking to a fish. First the words to properly explain how you feel are difficult to come up with, and if you succeed in finding the words, the fish isn't likely to care. Still, I will answer, as best as I can at this point. I warn you ahead of time, though, that the answer isn't likely to be even close to what you are looking for.
First let me get the basics out of the way of what I am not going to say. I am not going to say that I look at the complexity of the world around me and realize that there has to have been an intelligent design to make it. No matter how complex and beautiful a tree, an ecosystem, or whatever other example you point out you are still left with the fact that your intelligent designer would also be a complex and beautiful thing, and you still haven't explained their existence.
I am also not going to say that I interact with the Goddess on a daily basis, and thus I know she is real. This is true, yet it doesn't help address your question at all.
On my journey, when I initially turned away from the church and extended my quest elsewhere, I considered the possibility that there was no God. In fact I referenced that question here. Several points came to mind at the time to refute this in my personal opinion. I will attempt to address them. First a preface. I will hold off the "what I can feel" aspect of things until after some basic examples. For the very few of you who may know the specifics of what I generically address, you will find a slight time line error in a couple of them. This is merely because they are examples of the general thought process. That is also why they are generic.
Why would I believe there is a God? When I was in the fourth grade I had a dream that my uncle was riding his motorcycle with his fiance when a truck pulled out in front of him and he slammed right into it. In my dream I heard my father laughing and was appalled enough to wake up, only to find that I could still hear it, or thought I did. He was in fact sobbing uncontrollably, having just gotten the news that his brother had been killed in the accident I envisioned. Point: Could I have overheard the conversation between him and my mother? Possible. I don't think he had managed to get the details out to her, though, beyond the fact that there was an accident. His fiance hadn't been mentioned.
A couple of weeks before this accident happened, my uncle had been in Rochester. When it was time for him to leave my mother went to hug him and say goodbye and he refused, joking around that it was no big deal, that she would see him again.
I lost touch with some of my friends when I went into the service. Nothing intentional, it just kind of happened. Everybody was going through their lives, and contact with the others wasn't always top priority. One friend in particular I hadn't talked to in around a year, when I suddenly had the urge to contact this individual. Beyond the urge, I had the outrageous idea that I knew about an accident that this person had been involved in. It was nearly three months before contact was reestablished, since numbers had changed in the lapsing period. When I did make contact I found out that the accident really had occurred, but fortunately my friend was fine.
I have frequently picked up the phone to call people and had them say, "I was just going to call you." Followed by some explanation of something that had occurred that they thought I should know. I've watched Jeopardy and known answers to questions that I couldn't explain how I could have known it.
Studies have been done (details of which I am not willing to take the time to look up right now) on the concept of the collective unconscious. I don't know what the final opinions have been in these studies. Yet above examples and many others have led me to understand that there is a certain element of inter-connectedness between us human beings.
Since we can't consciously tap into this network between us, we also can't consciously take advantage of it. Therefore we must rely on something else initiating it. Still, there are varying useful effects that have come out of it. All of this points me in the direction of being more inclined to believe that at the very least, as a race, we possess an unconscious God-hood between us. At the most there is actually a conscious entity out there and in control.
All of these above are arguments based on examples I can point to, even if another would have a different read on them. Much the same as my lady-bug example. Ultimately, though, they are no longer the driving points for me to believe. I talk to her and at times she answers. I feel and see her around me.
I am confident and comfortable in where my spiritual journey has taken me. Much more confident than I am that this provided you with what you are looking for. As I go on, one of my goals is to continually demonstrate my beliefs and my journey, so hopefully in the long run, if this didn't help, that will.
If not, I suppose that is life, or something close to it.
First let me get the basics out of the way of what I am not going to say. I am not going to say that I look at the complexity of the world around me and realize that there has to have been an intelligent design to make it. No matter how complex and beautiful a tree, an ecosystem, or whatever other example you point out you are still left with the fact that your intelligent designer would also be a complex and beautiful thing, and you still haven't explained their existence.
I am also not going to say that I interact with the Goddess on a daily basis, and thus I know she is real. This is true, yet it doesn't help address your question at all.
On my journey, when I initially turned away from the church and extended my quest elsewhere, I considered the possibility that there was no God. In fact I referenced that question here. Several points came to mind at the time to refute this in my personal opinion. I will attempt to address them. First a preface. I will hold off the "what I can feel" aspect of things until after some basic examples. For the very few of you who may know the specifics of what I generically address, you will find a slight time line error in a couple of them. This is merely because they are examples of the general thought process. That is also why they are generic.
Why would I believe there is a God? When I was in the fourth grade I had a dream that my uncle was riding his motorcycle with his fiance when a truck pulled out in front of him and he slammed right into it. In my dream I heard my father laughing and was appalled enough to wake up, only to find that I could still hear it, or thought I did. He was in fact sobbing uncontrollably, having just gotten the news that his brother had been killed in the accident I envisioned. Point: Could I have overheard the conversation between him and my mother? Possible. I don't think he had managed to get the details out to her, though, beyond the fact that there was an accident. His fiance hadn't been mentioned.
A couple of weeks before this accident happened, my uncle had been in Rochester. When it was time for him to leave my mother went to hug him and say goodbye and he refused, joking around that it was no big deal, that she would see him again.
I lost touch with some of my friends when I went into the service. Nothing intentional, it just kind of happened. Everybody was going through their lives, and contact with the others wasn't always top priority. One friend in particular I hadn't talked to in around a year, when I suddenly had the urge to contact this individual. Beyond the urge, I had the outrageous idea that I knew about an accident that this person had been involved in. It was nearly three months before contact was reestablished, since numbers had changed in the lapsing period. When I did make contact I found out that the accident really had occurred, but fortunately my friend was fine.
I have frequently picked up the phone to call people and had them say, "I was just going to call you." Followed by some explanation of something that had occurred that they thought I should know. I've watched Jeopardy and known answers to questions that I couldn't explain how I could have known it.
Studies have been done (details of which I am not willing to take the time to look up right now) on the concept of the collective unconscious. I don't know what the final opinions have been in these studies. Yet above examples and many others have led me to understand that there is a certain element of inter-connectedness between us human beings.
Since we can't consciously tap into this network between us, we also can't consciously take advantage of it. Therefore we must rely on something else initiating it. Still, there are varying useful effects that have come out of it. All of this points me in the direction of being more inclined to believe that at the very least, as a race, we possess an unconscious God-hood between us. At the most there is actually a conscious entity out there and in control.
All of these above are arguments based on examples I can point to, even if another would have a different read on them. Much the same as my lady-bug example. Ultimately, though, they are no longer the driving points for me to believe. I talk to her and at times she answers. I feel and see her around me.
I am confident and comfortable in where my spiritual journey has taken me. Much more confident than I am that this provided you with what you are looking for. As I go on, one of my goals is to continually demonstrate my beliefs and my journey, so hopefully in the long run, if this didn't help, that will.
If not, I suppose that is life, or something close to it.
posted by Wanderer at 1:21 PM
6 Comments:
Steven, thanks for this post. And thanks for letting me back on! For a while your site said I wasn't welcome. :-(
You may be hesitant to believe me, and if so, I would probably understand, but I now realize why I feel a connection to you.
I've had a number of experiences similar to those your described. (None quite so dramatic as the accident dream), but noteworthy experiences I couldn't/wouldn't ignore. I won't go into lots of detail here and fill up your comment space to prove my point. (Though, if you want me to, just ask and I will at that point.)
The main thing I wanted to say is that I, too, came to a realzation that we are more connected to the spiritual world than most people seem to recognize. Ultimately, I interpreted those experiences differently than you did, though not without questioning, experimentation, and considering other religious philosophies. Necessarily so.
I'd like to continue this conversation, but I'm not sure where to go from here.
One (concurring) note:
Re the intelligent design myth, not only is your logic sound, for once, but also what people using the "Random chance couldn't produce a system so intricate" people forget is that so far we've identified something like five hundred planets where it didn't and no others that did. Looks like pretty solid evidence for random chance.
Cindy - It was nothing personal, it told me I wasn't welcome too. :)
I agree that we would both benefit from the conversation continuing. If you find a direction you think would benefit me, feel free to take the space to provide it. In the mean time, I am likely to continue with my thoughts, and hope you continue with your comments, and we will see where we end up.
Cindy - I wanted to note that I did respond at some length to your question of why She sleeps, the response seems to be missing now. Since ultimately the answer skimmed out of all of the words I used was that I am not certain, I won't bother searching my e-mails to find it at this point, unless you want me to.
The basic response from me included several suppositions and the truthful answer that it hadn't occurred to me to wonder and that She hasn't told me. If She in fact does, I will let you know.
For all I know, you saw that before the blog ate it, but in case you hadn't I wanted to let you know that I didn't blow you off.
hey- no, I didn't get to read your answer about the sleeping. I lost some comments on my blog recently, too. Thanks for the clarification.
I will point out, while not taking the time to search out the link to put it a second time, that my Prologue to a White Wolf's Journey, (or something close to that, as I pointed out I am not looking it up right now) indicates that the sleeping doesn't indicate a complete lack of attention, as she is asleep during the whole story.
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