Parenting
I daily find myself getting new perspectives on the issue of being a parent. The latest came today during a visit to my in-law's house. My sister-in-law had spent the whole day fighting with the father of the baby she should be delivering any day now. When she stopped answering the phone he came out here.
While all of us were inclined to allow them to work their differences out, to a point, I finally found it necessary to step in when we heard her yelling at him to move out of the way. As it turned out, he was standing in front of the door that she wanted to go through.
I insisted that he move, and he did, but he turned his anger on me, demanding to know who I was to interfere. Apparently my concern for my sister-in-law fell lower on the totem pole than him being the baby's father.
When he left, he was calling to some friends up the street, trying to convince them to help him take out his frustration with me on a physical level. None of them agreed with his position though, and he quickly left, with the warning to me that he will be back.
I am not particularly concerned about his threats, but I must say that the overall situation was disturbing. It points to the obvious fact that there is a difference between being able to father a child and being a man. Almost any male after a certain age can get a girl pregnant, but it takes a man to bear responsibility for that and do what he can to take care of her and the child.
I look around me and I see so many situations like this where the father and mother find it difficult to even be on speaking terms. So many situations where care for the welfare of the child seems secondary to the personal whims of the adults involved.
I wonder why the things that seem so obvious to me in regards to taking care of your significant other, as well as your family, seem so alien to everyone else. I know this post has been a little disjointed, but that's just today's take on life or something close to it.
While all of us were inclined to allow them to work their differences out, to a point, I finally found it necessary to step in when we heard her yelling at him to move out of the way. As it turned out, he was standing in front of the door that she wanted to go through.
I insisted that he move, and he did, but he turned his anger on me, demanding to know who I was to interfere. Apparently my concern for my sister-in-law fell lower on the totem pole than him being the baby's father.
When he left, he was calling to some friends up the street, trying to convince them to help him take out his frustration with me on a physical level. None of them agreed with his position though, and he quickly left, with the warning to me that he will be back.
I am not particularly concerned about his threats, but I must say that the overall situation was disturbing. It points to the obvious fact that there is a difference between being able to father a child and being a man. Almost any male after a certain age can get a girl pregnant, but it takes a man to bear responsibility for that and do what he can to take care of her and the child.
I look around me and I see so many situations like this where the father and mother find it difficult to even be on speaking terms. So many situations where care for the welfare of the child seems secondary to the personal whims of the adults involved.
I wonder why the things that seem so obvious to me in regards to taking care of your significant other, as well as your family, seem so alien to everyone else. I know this post has been a little disjointed, but that's just today's take on life or something close to it.
posted by Wanderer at 7:12 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, I am not worried about the threat. I have been threatened before. Most who say they will be back to do something to me later don't come back. The occasional one does, and I have gotten the occasional scar or minor injury to prove it. Life is too short, and too many things are important in my life to worry about every person who says they will come after me.
The nature of my personal ministry often finds me called out to places including bars in seedy areas of town to rescue someone from a sticky situation. Sometimes they find that they have lost control and started drinking again, or drank too much. Sometimes they lost control and took a swing at the wrong guy. (Not that there is ever a right guy to take a swing at) I see a lot on a daily basis of the rougher natures of some people. I think I have become rather callous about it. That was until this time when I equated these actions with one who is imminently going to be responsible for a young life. It was the latter part that bothered me some. Not much I can do about it without hovering over my neice 24/7, and that is something I can't practically do. It's the knowledge that there are so many replays of this scenario that saddens me a little.
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