The Baby is Showered
Odd, that, since it hasn't even been born yet. I must say that the little party for the little woman was an interesting experience. I spent the first half of it out back cooking. (Those that used to attend my barbecues at my house are cringing I am sure.) As it turns out, nobody died of food poisoning (yet) and I was even complimented on it by several of the guests (who obviously know how to be polite). It is extremely hot out here today. Somewhere around 95 degrees. I know for some of you that might not seem hot, but for Rochestarians who see that once every several years, it's quiet another story.
Standing in front of a barbecue grill cooking for thirty people definitely didn't help the internal temperature either. My face is bright red now. Don't know if it is because of the sun or the grill, but probably a little of both.
I then got to relax and see the opening of the gifts. Quite a number of interesting and necessary things were received, with all of the appropriate ooh's and ahh's. Martha and I were very appreciative of all of it, although I keep second guessing myself on whether or not that was apparent. I don't know if a playset deserves an ooh or an ahh. I don't think Martha did either. For that matter, I don't know what a playset is, but I am sure we got one or more of them. And I am very thankful for whichever one of you provided it. I may not know what to call these things, but I will be very appreciative when I need them.
The whole thing wasn't completely a highlight though. In fact, the shower somewhat terrified me. It terrified me that we really needed all of this stuff they brought and more. It terrifies me that I will eventually have to figure out just what we need it for. It also doesn't bring warm fuzzy feelings when I realize that the clothing and etc.. is such a small part of this baby's life and I am already getting lost. I am going to be expected to teach this kid about life? I haven't even come close to figuring it out for myself yet. They really should require people to be licensed before they can do this kind of thing.
I also found my own personal dark side creeping up to attempt to consume the enjoyment of the afternoon. I looked around at some of the more expensive items. The pack-and-play, the car seat, the swing. These things that all match because they were on this registry (read wish list) that so many of these people checked out. I looked at these and realized that the car seat was more expensive than it needed to be, and much more than it would be if I had to pay for it. I checked, you can find those things at Goodwill. The swing and pack-and-play will be very useful in keeping Emily happy, but people in the past raised their children without these things, and we kind of planned on it too. These things will be there for Emily because people got together and thought she should have them. I should look at it that way too, but I have a hard time getting past my own personal history and associated guilt.
These things were purchased in part because the people who purchased them knew I would never be able to afford them. They could, and I couldn't. While I know the true spirit of it, I can't help but see the word "pity" hanging over it. I don't do that well. A give and take on the gifting of things is one thing. Being barely one step above the panhandlers on the street corners in social status and means is quite another.
I couple this thought process with the fact that the baby will soon be on the way, and I can't help but look in the mirror and scream "What in the world are you thinking?" I look at my life so far, and what I have done with it. I look at my financial picture and the varying health issues. I look at all of this and I pity Emily.
I have been known to take the occasional dollar every couple of months and buy a lottery ticket. I really need to put some money down on some life insurance. Then I can sit back and hope to either hit the lottery or a bus. Either way Martha and Emily will be fine.
That isn't going to happen though. Instead I am going to push through, one day at a time, working my way along and fighting to insure she is well care for, and that's just life, or something like it.
Standing in front of a barbecue grill cooking for thirty people definitely didn't help the internal temperature either. My face is bright red now. Don't know if it is because of the sun or the grill, but probably a little of both.
I then got to relax and see the opening of the gifts. Quite a number of interesting and necessary things were received, with all of the appropriate ooh's and ahh's. Martha and I were very appreciative of all of it, although I keep second guessing myself on whether or not that was apparent. I don't know if a playset deserves an ooh or an ahh. I don't think Martha did either. For that matter, I don't know what a playset is, but I am sure we got one or more of them. And I am very thankful for whichever one of you provided it. I may not know what to call these things, but I will be very appreciative when I need them.
The whole thing wasn't completely a highlight though. In fact, the shower somewhat terrified me. It terrified me that we really needed all of this stuff they brought and more. It terrifies me that I will eventually have to figure out just what we need it for. It also doesn't bring warm fuzzy feelings when I realize that the clothing and etc.. is such a small part of this baby's life and I am already getting lost. I am going to be expected to teach this kid about life? I haven't even come close to figuring it out for myself yet. They really should require people to be licensed before they can do this kind of thing.
I also found my own personal dark side creeping up to attempt to consume the enjoyment of the afternoon. I looked around at some of the more expensive items. The pack-and-play, the car seat, the swing. These things that all match because they were on this registry (read wish list) that so many of these people checked out. I looked at these and realized that the car seat was more expensive than it needed to be, and much more than it would be if I had to pay for it. I checked, you can find those things at Goodwill. The swing and pack-and-play will be very useful in keeping Emily happy, but people in the past raised their children without these things, and we kind of planned on it too. These things will be there for Emily because people got together and thought she should have them. I should look at it that way too, but I have a hard time getting past my own personal history and associated guilt.
These things were purchased in part because the people who purchased them knew I would never be able to afford them. They could, and I couldn't. While I know the true spirit of it, I can't help but see the word "pity" hanging over it. I don't do that well. A give and take on the gifting of things is one thing. Being barely one step above the panhandlers on the street corners in social status and means is quite another.
I couple this thought process with the fact that the baby will soon be on the way, and I can't help but look in the mirror and scream "What in the world are you thinking?" I look at my life so far, and what I have done with it. I look at my financial picture and the varying health issues. I look at all of this and I pity Emily.
I have been known to take the occasional dollar every couple of months and buy a lottery ticket. I really need to put some money down on some life insurance. Then I can sit back and hope to either hit the lottery or a bus. Either way Martha and Emily will be fine.
That isn't going to happen though. Instead I am going to push through, one day at a time, working my way along and fighting to insure she is well care for, and that's just life, or something like it.
posted by Wanderer at 7:32 PM
2 Comments:
I enjoyed reading both your post and the comment from chip, well written words of wisdom.
I smiled about the hot dogs. I know from experience that there are no good hotdogs west of the mississippi, but not even in South Carolina...for get the genny, someone sent me a nick tahoe red hot...blessings on you steve, and martha, and the family...
maryellen, ex rochestarian, current new mexican
I am pleased to meet you, Chip, and I thank you for your words of advice. Much of what you said is so obviously true, but then experience will lend to that, won't it? I am glad that my comments led to a response and introduction all rolled into one. I spoke and someone listened. Remarkable. In regards to my future fatherhood, perhaps I shouldn't get to used to that. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home