Pre-Postpartum Anxiety
The drama of Martha's pregnancy continues to have it's slightly alarming moments. She showed up at the place that we both work yesterday after a doctor's appointment I missed since I was working. She informed me that she was being pulled out of work, and that she was waiting for some paperwork regarding disability to be sent over from the other office. Due to the fact that we were so busy at this point, that was as far as the conversation was able to go. In truth, I didn't give it too much thought, since I was expecting her to get pulled out of work, and if there was anything of imminent importance for me to know, she would have shared.
It was nearly three hours later, when I overheard my boss talking to the owner of the company. She was informing him that Martha was out of work until at least mid-September. She also informed him that due to the borderline toxemia (which I knew about) and the gestational hypertension (which I didn't know about), they were going to try to hold off for two more weeks before the baby was born.
She asked me how I felt about being a daddy in two weeks, and to be completely honest, I had nothing I could say to this. My wife is due on August 17, not July 29. This was shocking news to me, and having no idea what gestational hypertension was, this news was somewhat alarming. Any news that involves waiting two more weeks before my wife goes into labor when she has five weeks to go is alarming.
The baby is still healthy, though. My wife is still basically healthy as well. So all in all, this isn't really anything that bad. Which is why my wife waited for me to come home to tell me about it. My boss was a little off anyway. They are watching Martha closely, and if anything alarming comes up in the bloodwork, they would prefer to wait at least two weeks, but they will have to react to it. In short, it may be a little over two weeks, but not likely the five we were originally expecting.
So, sorry Lisa and Mark. August 18th looks like it is almost definitely a no-go. Then again, only time will tell. We have definitely gotten to a point where we are only looking at this a couple of days at a time.
All of this had me thinking last night. Which is why the post I had intended to put out here never made it. I will provide those thoughts that were going to be here over the next couple of days I am sure. I am sure you all understand. What I was thinking about was a little different than what some of you may assume though. I was thinking that in two weeks this baby may be born. Not only will I have this small child that will need all of my attention, guidance and care, but something awful is going to come with it. Martha won't be pregnant anymore.
When I should have been thinking of all that the baby would need, all of the responsibility, and all of the work that is bearing down on us, my mind kept wandering. That large belly that keeps Martha from being able to wrap her arms around me will be gone. No more putting my nose up against it and getting kicked for the effort. No more little ripples of movement. So many "no mores." It seems absurd, but there is a definite part of me that is going to miss the pregnancy portion of things. I am sure this isn't the beginning of some on-going neurosis that I am facing, but it just never once crossed my mind these last couple of months that her having this baby means she won't be pregnant anymore.
One more little change, one of many I have yet to face. One more little surprise that comes with life or something close to it.
It was nearly three hours later, when I overheard my boss talking to the owner of the company. She was informing him that Martha was out of work until at least mid-September. She also informed him that due to the borderline toxemia (which I knew about) and the gestational hypertension (which I didn't know about), they were going to try to hold off for two more weeks before the baby was born.
She asked me how I felt about being a daddy in two weeks, and to be completely honest, I had nothing I could say to this. My wife is due on August 17, not July 29. This was shocking news to me, and having no idea what gestational hypertension was, this news was somewhat alarming. Any news that involves waiting two more weeks before my wife goes into labor when she has five weeks to go is alarming.
The baby is still healthy, though. My wife is still basically healthy as well. So all in all, this isn't really anything that bad. Which is why my wife waited for me to come home to tell me about it. My boss was a little off anyway. They are watching Martha closely, and if anything alarming comes up in the bloodwork, they would prefer to wait at least two weeks, but they will have to react to it. In short, it may be a little over two weeks, but not likely the five we were originally expecting.
So, sorry Lisa and Mark. August 18th looks like it is almost definitely a no-go. Then again, only time will tell. We have definitely gotten to a point where we are only looking at this a couple of days at a time.
All of this had me thinking last night. Which is why the post I had intended to put out here never made it. I will provide those thoughts that were going to be here over the next couple of days I am sure. I am sure you all understand. What I was thinking about was a little different than what some of you may assume though. I was thinking that in two weeks this baby may be born. Not only will I have this small child that will need all of my attention, guidance and care, but something awful is going to come with it. Martha won't be pregnant anymore.
When I should have been thinking of all that the baby would need, all of the responsibility, and all of the work that is bearing down on us, my mind kept wandering. That large belly that keeps Martha from being able to wrap her arms around me will be gone. No more putting my nose up against it and getting kicked for the effort. No more little ripples of movement. So many "no mores." It seems absurd, but there is a definite part of me that is going to miss the pregnancy portion of things. I am sure this isn't the beginning of some on-going neurosis that I am facing, but it just never once crossed my mind these last couple of months that her having this baby means she won't be pregnant anymore.
One more little change, one of many I have yet to face. One more little surprise that comes with life or something close to it.
posted by Wanderer at 4:55 PM
1 Comments:
Been watching for clippings on Emily, but apparently the local papers aren't taking her seriously.
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