Not Restarting The Debate

I found it interesting that Bill Maher visited the same topic as I started the most recent firestorm with here. In particular, it was one of his muslim guests who really pushed the thought process I had that religion created a field for hate. They addressed it better than I did. Specifically the fact that God may not demand hatred and violence, but God does leave a gap in which He is not specifically speaking to us as humans and so we fill in the gaps our own way. This isn't religion's fault. Many of these religions don't teach this violence, but they create a nice little breeding ground for it. Thus was the conclusion they drew.

As I said, I am not revisiting the argument, just pointing out that someone may have addressed the topic better. Or maybe not. After all it is a different format. He sets off an angry firestorm and he might lose his show. I do so and I get a response. Maybe we both succeeded. (By the way, I have a new reason to be annoyed at that conversation tapering off. It didn't make the largest number of comments. There is one post from a year ago that hit 40 comments, and worse it did so because of Chris P.)

If you have the opportunity to catch the encore of tonight's show, it might be worthwhile. If not, that's life, or something close to it.

Mabon

Today is Mabon. A Sabatt (for all of my other studies I promise to one day remember how many b's and t's that word has) that falls on the vernal equinox.

The vernal equinox is the day in the fall when the daylight and darkness are equal. From here on out the days will be getting shorter. This is a harvest festival. The primary harvest festival at that. For those of you unfamiliar with the holiday, it is very much akin to the much later festival of thanksgiving. Not so much for the portion of giving thanks, although that applies. Moreso by nature of tradition. This is a time to drag out the best outfits and gather to celebrate the abundance of food and the presence of family and friends.

The year winds down and we settle in for winter. This is kind of the last hurrah in that respect. The last time to be a little lavish (within means) before battening down the hatches for the long cold nights.

This is a time to stock the tables and the larders. This is a time to gather herbs and make wine. This is also a time to take stock as the Sun God goes to rest and soon the Goddess will do the same. The days shorten and the Goddess prepares to traverse the worlds, but on this day we still celebrate. We celebrate the harvest, we celebrate the coming time of regeneration. We celebrate our own strength, both personal and through our real and chosen families. We demonstrate that we have the strength and means to make it through the coming months.

And so we continue on. The seasons change and we observe and participate in this experiment called life, or something close to it.

Religion In Every Day Life

Some religions require prayer at multiple points throughout the day. Some requiring gathering with others in worship on one day out of the week, or on special Holy Days. Some require tithing, or adherence to certain dietary restrictions.

What do all of the above have in common? They are ways to attempt to mold religion, and your experience with your God/dess, in some way with your day to day life. Why? Because in many ways, even to the most devout, our religions and spiritual experiences don't directly corrolate with our daily lives.

Sure, you may think to give thanks to the Goddess if something with extremely low odds happens that is beneficial to you at the time. One of these miracles that can also be referred to as incredibly favorable coincedence. What about the rest of our lives though? When you work hard on a project for work and your work pays off, do you offer thanks to the Goddess? Some might, but why? After all, you reaped the rewards of your own work. Your hard work, perserverance and intelligence resulted in your success. From that perspective, the only reason to give Her thanks would be to thank Her for not sabotaging it. But why would you expect that She would? Why would you think She even took an active concern about this project of yours? (Unless of course you asked Her to. Then, depending on what it was, She just might have. Or She might not have.)

The fact of the matter is that we live in a day and age where most of what we accomplish, most of what we do, has nothing to do with our religion. It has nothing to do with our Gods. It is just part of the life that we live. It doesn't necessarily stand opposed to our religious doctrine or commands from Deity. It is just separate from our worship and communion. Is this wrong? I don't think so.

The problem then becomes how do we keep our faith alive on a daily basis if we don't work in a religious capacity? How does an accountant keep the Goddess deeply rooted in her daily life? How does she keep the Goddess from being relegated to special days when it is time to think about Her again?

This is where some of the things mentioned above come into play. Even they fall short at times though. If you worship one day out of the week, how do you keep your God a part of your life for the other six days? If you have dietary restrictions, how do you keep your God present in your life when you aren't eating? The truth is that however much time you devote out of your day to your Deity, you sooner or later come to the question of what is going on the rest of the time.

If there are these portions when your God/dess is not the primary focus, or any focus whatsoever, is this acceptable? Are there little ways and reminders that help us out along the way?

There are various things you can try. I wear a pentagram around my neck, but it is under my shirt so nobody tends to notice. It is so commonplace for me that I don't even think about it during the day. Many times I don't think much about it when I put it on or take it off either. There are many days when it is just jewelry.

There is also one tattooed on my arm. This I tend only to see when I am in the shower. It is no constant reminder. It hasn't been since a week or two after it was placed there when the skin had healed and I couldn't remember what it looked like to not have it there. This is not to say that the necklace and the tattoo don't serve their purposes, but they are not red flags during the day.

Some of you are familiar with some other suggestions I have thrown out there from time to time, more focused on communication. Waking up every morning and saying good morning to the Lord and the Lady and telling them you love them takes little time out of your day. Nor does it keep your mind focused on them for the rest of the day.

This could in fact be a good thing, because that means your mind is focused on what it is you need to do, which as I have indicated above may have nothing to do with your religion.

I guess the question that I am posing is, do we need to focus more than the casual thought on a daily basis on our spirituality? Do we need to draw a greater spiritual presence into our life than just when we go to church, temple or circle? Or when we teach Sunday school or lead the worship team? Do you feel we are expected simply to live our lives right and give that extra focus at such specific times (or on other joyful or painful special occasions), or are we expected to fully make our God/dess part of every moment. If the latter, how do you feel this could be accomplished, and are you succeeding?

Just some thoughts on religion and every day life, or something close to it.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

I finally won the damn Saturday tournament at Turning Stone casino.

No limit hold 'em, $90 buy in, 130-odd players, pays 16 places, $2,814 first place.

I say finally because I have played in that tournament and failed to cash three times and was starting to feel a bit frozen out of it. You win when you feel like you'll win and when you think you'll lose, you usually do, and I was starting to feel like I'd lose int hat tournament.

I played almost perfectly all day long. I was keeping a high level of aggression (betting my good hands, cutting off draws, bluffing down pots when I sensed I could, and continuation betting) without becoming reckless at all, and I made several very important lay-downs and at least one pivotal "just call"s when an opponent with pocket eights flopped a full house but slowplayed it until I made a full house with my pocket sevens on the river, I bet it, he raised, and I was about to push all-in with fewer chips than he had but got the read that he had a monster so I "just call"ed and thus was still in the tournament. One of the best laydowns I made was with pocket aces against a flop of Jc Ts 4d, which would seem to be a great board, but one player called a small raise from the button and raised from $1,000 to $2,500 and I just knew he had JT for two-pair, so I folded but someone else called him and by the showdown, his two pair would still have been good versus my aces and he had exactly JT, just like I thought.

I was never all-in all tournament long, and I never had 50% of my stack committed in a pot.

Continuation betting and controlled bluffing probably accounted for how I got about 70% of my stack at any given point.

By the first break I was the second-biggest stack with around $25,000, by the second break I was the chip leader with $90,000, and when they consolidated the last two tables to make the final table I was the chip leader with $199,000 while the next biggest was $120,000.

I bullied the final table as assertively (aggressively but not recklessly) as I could, and wound up with over $400,000 in chips. When it was down to six, the other players all had around $50,000 apiece to my nearly half-million and wanted to chop. I of course told them that was impossible as I was nearly guaranteed to win, so they decided to give me the first place prize and divide what was left between themselves. Since I'd be getting the same prize either way and since it was guaranteed this way, and since it's what everyone else wanted to do, I agreed, and as the last person at the table nodded his assent to this deal, I shot my first into the air and yelled "Yes!" having just won the tournament.

Everyone looked at me oddly but I explained that I had indeed won the tournament and they all realized it was perfectly justified.

They each got around $950 and I got the $2,814 first place. The dealer and the deale we had before, and the floor supervisor all shook my hand and said things like "Great tournament," or "You played great," o "You played like a champion," or other great things for them to say, which is a drastic difference from when I won $1,100 for first place in the Tuesday night tournament at Seneca Niagara and they handed me a paperclip full of cash and walked away wordlessly, without even second-place still there to shake my hand or anything. Even though I'd won, I still felt sad that night cause no one was there to recognize me for it.

Then I accomplished the hardest thing of all, I took the money and walked past the blackjack tables straight to the parking lot and went home without throwing it all away.

This tournament lasted five hours. My MP3 player holds about an hour and 20 minutes of music (it's from the 90s). Having listened to each song at least four times made me take some of the momey and buy a 1GB mp3 player (I insisted upon non-Apple merchandise as I hate that company, all it's products, and all it's software) that will hold eight times as much music. It cost ninety bucks, but it is my official trophy or this tournament. I paid $1,000 to my parents, to whom I owe a low of money, and that leaves $1,600 for me to pay a speeding ticket and stake myself for more poker.

I'm going again today, I still feel like I'm on fire after having beaten the game at 1/2 NL Friday night and winning the tournament yesterday morning, and I'll see if I can press on.

A Mother's Life

For those of you who know her, and others who have a curiousity, my wife posted on her blog again. It is reachable through the link on my sidebar with the same name as this post. She recapped the months that she has been missing in a somewhat humorous fashion, and has assured me that she really means it when she says she plans on posting more regularly again.

So that is the update on a mother's life, or something close to it.

You Don't Know Me

The title should be obvious to about 90% of you. The few people who know me in real life should equally know that it is mostly false for them.

People that blog should be aware that they only get a small portion of the individual that they observe on the blogs. Yet this often gets lost in the actual actions of communicating in this forum. As such, among other things, you can have seemingly wonderful blog relationships that die in a moment. If you haven't noticed this, scroll back a post or two for an example. (It's the one with the insane number of comments.) I am assuming to some extent as two of the conversations haven't resolved and I don't plan on instigating the end of these relationships. I may be accused of being the one to do so, but this blog is open to both, and short of a direct demand I will still visit and comment on theirs.

Yet the nature of the turn of both of these conversations somewhat surprised me and led me to post about this. This is the most serious the conversation has turned, and the turn on both of their parts shocked me. They declare I ended the conversation while I saw it in full stride. Correct me if I am wrong, Lisa and MC, but those that know me in real life would not have interpreted and excess antagonism and/or ending of dialogue in what went down there.

Further, what bothered me about the turn of conversation is the underlying facts of why I came online, this time and several others, to be confronted with these accusations.

Let me tell you a little about myself. (I often use this line on stage, and it means not that I am going to get too personal, but rather lead you along a line I want you to follow. Little difference here.) I am a standup comedian as part of my complex non-blog life. I haven't shared this before because there has never been a reason to, and there have been reasons not to. A man who makes a living off of telling jokes, being a smart ass, and making shit up is not a person your subconscious mind is going to take seriously. Silliness, as any of you have made a living doing anything know that when you leave work you don't always bring it with you. Contrary to mythos, a comedian is capable of being serious, and off stage we are all too often. Still, being a minister and a comedian would leave a sour taste in people's mouths. (Odd since both help to ease suffering and bring joy to people's lives).

I took a two year hiatus from the stage due to personal health issues, then my wife's pregnancy, then her health issues. I have recently begun to return to the scene. The few difficulties, and the overwhelming lack thereof will not be part of todays post. Because all of this was setting the stage for what is important.

In my return I was almost immediately offered opportunities to open for greater talents, some of whom were my par a few years ago and didn't take a break, some of which are much higher up but I knew from my travels. A few left the stage and began promoting. (One of which has offered to give me some great material that is his, provided I perform on a couple of his stages.) Besides the boost of realizing I have been far from forgotten by those whom I have worked with in the past, I realized something a lot more practical to me. I can wheel and deal and get them to play for me in return.

Now I am no promoter, and don't plan to be, but what I am setting up is temporary and charity. (The latter having a draw of its own.) I plan to hit a couple of spots around town in a running charity bit to raise money for the MS Society. (I am not declaring an event, I haven't talked to them yet.) I am working on setting the shows up, though, with some of the bigger named connections I have made along the way.

Actually, the above parenthetical is one of the main points I have been planning on getting to. I have to coordinate with them for this. Which means contact and discussion. Things I haven't done yet because I am busy getting into this conversation about the post I referenced above every time I sign on, then I am worked up and I forget for a moment.

I forget that which I was setting up for selfish reasons. To find a cure for my wife. To help not only her, but all patients with MS. A noble cause. To do it through laughter even grander. But my priorities are on a balance like anyone else's, and I take the conversations regarding my posts very seriously. To have put aside the preparations for something like this to discuss with you folks, and be accused of ending the discussion. Of being a bigot or a hatemonger, when I am just trying to communicate. I have to say that hurts.

I imagine they, as I, will realize it is irrelevant enough that it doesn't matter if you believe or not. If they didn't see it such, Lisanocerous and MC could easily look into and confirm the fact that my wife can't move the left side of her body tonight. Hasn't had any feeling in that side for nearly a week. It is a flareup, and a bad one at that. As my wife has lain in bed, getting what sleep she can while her body rebelled against her due to lesions on her brain, I have prioritized. I have realized the MS Walk is a little ways away, and I can pull shit together later. My wife is upstairs, but mostly asleep and can deal without my presence a little longer. For now, I respond to this, which I think matters. A dialogue that is open and raw.

What do I find? You accuse me of foul play. After being open with you. After catering to you on your own blogs while trying to help. After sacrificing to pay attention to these matters that should draw a deeper understanding? Some of you become devisive and underhanded. Try cheap attacks that work only because I do care and I have tried.

Congratulations. I have sacrificed for more who care not. I don't regret it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Not your problem, though. Go on with your life, or something close to it.

The Harvest Moon

The Harvest moon became full today at 2:41pm EDT. It rose over Rochester, NY at 7:41pm EDT on September 7th, and will set at 7:38am EDT the following day.

It rose over Farmington, NM at 7:42pm MDT and will set at 7:48am MDT on September 8th. (It became full at 12:41pm MDT on the seventh.)

The Harvest moon is so named because we are now into the more significant portion of the harvest season. The full moon being useful to help shed some light for people who would continue to work into the evening, as well as again being a seasonal reminder. I could go well into the questions of mythology that led to this name, but is often the case, I think the reason was relatively obvious to begin with.

The next new moon will be on September 22 at 7:46am Eastern Daylight time.
The next full moon will be on October 6th at 11:12pm Eastern Daylight time.
The next Sabbat will be on September 23rd. The Autumnul Equinox, otherwise known as Mabon.

There are your lunar details for the month. You may return to earth and to your life, or something close to it.

A slight correction

Actually, THIS is the picture I drew of Wanderer.

The Requirement of Hatred

You can probably tell by the title that the vein of this post is a bit more on the serious side. As such, I suggest that you skip past it for just a moment to check out the pictures of Emily and the caricature drawn by MC before you return to this more serious work.

I am watching a lot of the big issues going on in our region and in the world and realizing that there is an underlying aspect of one of the primary issues of the last few months both regionally and nationally that many people may be missing.

The issues in mind? Locally, the banning of a book by our local school district that was originally an optional part of the reading list:

Also locally, a science teacher is undergoing transgender surgery and the parents are in an uproar. Nationally, there are many issues, a primary one being the marriage ban. This is where you all collectively feel shocked that I am talking about gay rights again. Guess again. I am talking about religion. More shocking.

Why is it that this issue can be so huge? Because of the nature of man. To the best of my knowledge, man is the only creature that hates. Man is the only creature that kills its own species for their own amusement. Man is the only creature that tortures its own species for its own amusement. Man is the only one that does either of these things to other species for the same reason. Examples of our higher level of evolution.

We have hate people for being regionally removed. We have hated them for skin color or ethnic background. We have hated them for many reasons. However, most of these wouldn't hold under normal circumstances. The crossing of borders and intellectual development would present the fallacies and prevent any but the most ignorant to hold to these positions. Why then does great hatred continue? Religion allows it to be so.

Some of you may feel bashed, but I focus on that which I know well, and I haven't had the in depth studies into others quite to the level of the one which I reference. My understanding is that many major religions follow suit, but you Christians get to feel pinned to the board again.

Why? Because Jesus preached hatred. Maybe not intentionally (although whether he could have done so unintentionally is a whole other debate) but he did, and I will tell you how.

He taught that there was a heaven. When you are done with the crap you have to deal with here, there is an afterlife where it will be all better. How can it be better if it involves all of the same people whom I deal with now? (Unless God steps in as a referee up there to make everyone happy, but that begs the question of why He doesn't do so now.) This isn't the case, though. This is the crux of the teachings. Not everyone gets to heaven.

Well why not? Why do some go and others don't? Is it pre-ordained that some of us are deficient? That we play here and then we are done? If that is the case, can you at least tell us which ones it is, so those of us who are screwed can at least have fun now?

No, the thing is that we have the good people and the bad people. The good people make it, the bad don't. Oh, and that whole teaching about good people despising evil ways, even as God despises the evil actions of those who are not fit.

So there is good and there is evil. In order for the good to be comfortable they have to be able to point to the evil. The problem is that there is no decent bastion of evil to point to. Yeah, we have murderer's and rapists, but they are so few and so hard to peg. We need a group of people. The Christians are running out. Race isn't a good reason anymore. They aren't even allowed to hate those pesky muslims that hate them. But who are they still allowed? The gays. They certainly are going to hell. It says so clearly in the bible. Thou shalt not lie with a man like you lie with a woman. Means the lesbians are safe, but the gay men are screwed. Wait, that comes from the same writings that ban pork, shellfish, and going to temple on the same day you take a shit. Yet, some of these have been declared outdated. Sorry, you can't pick and choose. If the laws have been retracted, they have been retracted. Unless you can point to better specifics. Jesus did say not to worry about what you put in your body. So the food thing isn't an issue anymore. Nor is who you have sex with.

In reality Jesus abolished the old and brought the new rules. But I am not even trying to teach whether he approves of it. Whether this is the one thing that held from the old testament just because a deified letter writer (first commandment anyone? Oh, right, the abolished law...) declared it was still horrible, while none of the rest of it was. Maybe he was the wise one, seeing the problem that now exists well after his time.

You see, they are the only ones left to hate, and hatred is an important teaching of the Christian faith. If we don't have some evil to hate, it dilutes the appearance of Satan in this world and folks might think, maybe I have him licked and don't have to pay for the new church wing after all.

How does the church hold this hatred going strong? Because it doesn't have to be rational. No rational being can present a complaint against the homosexuals. Except abstracts from some biblical teaching which their own example shows should be disregarded. No, they hold against it because with God at their back they don't have to be rational. "I may sound like an idiot, but I am just going by what God says. He's the idiot. Not me."

But it isn't that. You see, God's ways are a mystery. The fact that following a God who's rationale is compromised and unreadable from our point of view is pointless and futile isn't important. Why? Because He said so.

And so circular logic allows us to hate and destroy our fellow man. To be divisive, when the alternative would be a cohesive relationship where we could focus our hatred more productively. We could hate those who shelter a fugitive who has now shot three of our state troopers, and the latest two may not survive. We can hate the mentality that allows people to prey on the weak. We could focus this hatred into a fight to end it. We could hate poverty and hunger, and focus on these. We could put the hate aside and just focus on betterment of ourselves. None of this works for the Christian church though. It doesn't point us clearly to those sinners that we are better than. It doesn't give a warm fuzzy feeling, because we know who is going to hell by the people they love.

No, the fight rages on because the church could not survive an acceptance of homosexuals. Not because of the breach in morality. (I still challenge you to find a verse that points to this being a breach without making you hypocritical or heretical.) No, because if you didn't have anyone to hate, any evil to point to, the great and powerful Oz, um, church wouldn't have a purpose anymore. It couldn't point the way to heaven. If there were no staunch evils for you to feel better than, you would spend too much time wondering if you made the cut, and the church couldn't help you answer that.

Here is a novel idea. Whether real or not, drop the afterlife hopes and bullshit. Drop the hell threats and related bullshit as well. Live for now. Defend your fellow man. Consider humanity first. If your God can fault you in the end for being defensive of your own race, your God sucks. He condemns you for being what you are, and this is not someone you are liable to win with no matter what you try. Care for those around you and make this world better for everyone. Won't it be a surprise when you realize that the summerlands aren't somewhere ethereal, but here waiting for you to create them?

Just some thoughts about the fucked up side of life, or something close to it.

More Pictures

Here are the rest of the pictures I promised you from a few days ago. (See post below this one for the artwork MC provided for me the other day.)

Here is a picture from a couple of weeks ago of Emily walking with her mother.



Here are a few pictures I took at IHOP when we took Emily and her cousin Alexa out to breakfast for Emily's birthday:







Another picture of her favorite toy:



Her "Pretty Girl" shirt Martha had to buy her because that is what my father always calls Emily:



Some pink tissue paper captured while I was trying to get a picture of her impression of her present:



And the baby surveying the carnage she had created:



And there is another pictorial journal of my daughter's life, or something close to it.

Caricature

This is a caricature drawn of me by MC while he was bored at work. I am rather fond of it myself. Not that I would be likely to frame it or anything (after all, where would I hang it) but I will hang it on the wall I hang my other favorite pictures on. (That would be here folks.) Thus is a cartoon representation of my life, or something close to it.