When In Rome

Nickle Creek has a song (When in Rome) that has a line "But I'm gonna bet they never really feel at home, if they spent a lifetime learning how to live in Rome."

I have spent a considerable amount of time reflecting on these lyrics. Hours when I had started this post. Weeks now. As such I came away with several different takes on this, from several different view points.

I wonder about this question in conjunction with the growth of our youth. As schools and parents create an environment that shelters them from the real world. So that when they reach the real world they do not understand it. They are conditioned to think certain things matter that don't, and not prepared for what does. Of course they take part of what they learn in school with them (large parts I hope, if you include academia, but this isn't what I refer to) and they enter the "real world." The parts they take are the need to be a part of the "in" crowd. A need to socialize with a group of people who consider them relevant, and avoid those that don't. A need to do what "they" say we should do, not realizing that "they" are listening to some other "them" and may only be saying it because it is what they are supposed to. We do what the magazines say is important. We model our lives based on what celebrities do. We become fascinated with "reality" tv shows that aren't realistic. We build our lives around the principle that "when in Rome..." Without taking stock of the fact that we aren't. We create ideals that aren't practical or may not even be practical. We do this way too often instead of living our lives.

I thought about this from a religious perspective. So what if I follow the Christian tenets that so much of what exists in this life that is enjoyable, and not damaging in any way, must be avoided because it has been forbidden? I train myself to live in Rome, while I am still waking and sleeping in Rochester. For what? What can this bring me? A feeling of loss? A recognition that if I live by these rules I don't belong where I am? The recognition that I am not at home here? And why go through this? Because someone said that if I did I might get to Rome one day?

Some of you might claim that the important thing that I leave out here is that by following this lifestyle and these rules, I will get to Rome one day. Even if this is the case, here is the problem. In my theoretical scenario here, I have trained on these principles in a completely different environment. Here many of these requirements are struggles. Against my own nature. Against my environment. In Rome, the environment is conducive to the rules and the life. This won't be what I have been doing. I have been learning how to live in Rome, when in truth it has been Rochester all along. Here it will have been a struggle and a sacrifice. There it is not. In short, living in Rome here would be so completely different from doing it there. So what happens? The prize is that I am uncomfortable, and don't feel at home there either?

Of course there is another possibility. Perhaps this eternal "Rome" will not be so different. Perhaps the impulse and temptation and etc... will still be there. I don't think anybody preaches this, but if it is the case, the upside would be that we would feel more at home. It would make even less sense, and would appeal to a few less people, that the struggles would begin anew in this heaven. That we had struggles just to face more struggles. Less sense, but a little more consistent.

This can be taken on a few more tangents, but the basic point has been laid out. Some serious analysis of a short line in a short song. Still, I for one will spend little time trying to live in Rome. My wife and daughter are here in Rochester. That's life, or something close to it.