The Path Of The White Wolf
So now I had two primary focuses, spiritually speaking. The first was to share what I had learned, as appropriate with those who sought this information from me. Bearing in mind that I could only offer that which I had come to understand, and to be careful not to mislead those I spoke with into thinking I knew more than I did. The second was to resume my own path towards spiritual growth and enlightenment. The path that I had started on, prior to taking an offered opportunity to accept somebody else's pre-packaged answers again.
I had in effect failed myself by allowing my journey to stop when I looked to someone, not to teach me, but to think for me. To provide the tidy little answers as to how it should be. Don't get me wrong, I am not attempting to trash the woman in question, moreover just pointing to the mistakes I made along the way, that I needed to rectify now.
What I needed to do was sit down and sift out the truth behind the various things I had learned and been exposed to in the previous year or so, as well as applying it to the earlier teachings of my life that had led to me being where I was now.
The question again was how. How was I supposed to sort all of this out and figure it out? Who was going to lead me along this journey of discussion, without taking over with their own dogma?
It seemed obvious that this was something that was going to need some prayer, reflection and meditation. As such, I sat down to do this in somewhat of a reverse listed order. Using the meditation techniques I had been taught by a member of the coven I had been in, I relaxed myself and my mind, trying to open myself up for some answers. Trying to clear all of the garbage out of the way so that my brain had room to work.
Having done this, I was relaxing my mind, and wandering through a field in my mind. As always when I did this, the field led to the sea. Diving into the sea, I swam down to the opening I knew would be found near the bottom. Through the tunnel to a hidden cave. The cave had always been dark. This was the deepest part of the meditation. Darkness. No sound. Just a warm, calm, emptiness. I would stay here for a time, until I was ready to open my eyes and deal with what needed doing, or I would sit here in the dark and reflect.
This time I just sat there reflecting. Asking in my mind, "Who do I turn to for these answers? Who is going to help me along the path? Who will help me figure out what is right and what is wrong?"
This was the first time I saw the jewels, as they flickered with their own light, coming to life and bathing the room in a soft glow. This was the first time I saw the altar. This was the first time I saw a clear image of Her, as She stepped into the light. Her gaze was stern, and cold. She looked at me like something that could be brushed aside off-hand. Not like She wished me harm, but like I was something of so little significance that She wouldn't blink if I was destroyed.
"Do you really want to know me?" She asked in a distant, empty tone. No malice there. Just, nothing.
In that She was terrifying. I saw something so powerful, so awe inspiring. Something beyond comprehension. Before Her I was so insignificant that I could be brushed aside.
"Yes. I do." I responded.
She smiled, her expression softening, and the whole world seemed to light up with that smile. "Then I will guide you." She said warmly.
So began the true journey along the path of the White Wolf.
I had in effect failed myself by allowing my journey to stop when I looked to someone, not to teach me, but to think for me. To provide the tidy little answers as to how it should be. Don't get me wrong, I am not attempting to trash the woman in question, moreover just pointing to the mistakes I made along the way, that I needed to rectify now.
What I needed to do was sit down and sift out the truth behind the various things I had learned and been exposed to in the previous year or so, as well as applying it to the earlier teachings of my life that had led to me being where I was now.
The question again was how. How was I supposed to sort all of this out and figure it out? Who was going to lead me along this journey of discussion, without taking over with their own dogma?
It seemed obvious that this was something that was going to need some prayer, reflection and meditation. As such, I sat down to do this in somewhat of a reverse listed order. Using the meditation techniques I had been taught by a member of the coven I had been in, I relaxed myself and my mind, trying to open myself up for some answers. Trying to clear all of the garbage out of the way so that my brain had room to work.
Having done this, I was relaxing my mind, and wandering through a field in my mind. As always when I did this, the field led to the sea. Diving into the sea, I swam down to the opening I knew would be found near the bottom. Through the tunnel to a hidden cave. The cave had always been dark. This was the deepest part of the meditation. Darkness. No sound. Just a warm, calm, emptiness. I would stay here for a time, until I was ready to open my eyes and deal with what needed doing, or I would sit here in the dark and reflect.
This time I just sat there reflecting. Asking in my mind, "Who do I turn to for these answers? Who is going to help me along the path? Who will help me figure out what is right and what is wrong?"
This was the first time I saw the jewels, as they flickered with their own light, coming to life and bathing the room in a soft glow. This was the first time I saw the altar. This was the first time I saw a clear image of Her, as She stepped into the light. Her gaze was stern, and cold. She looked at me like something that could be brushed aside off-hand. Not like She wished me harm, but like I was something of so little significance that She wouldn't blink if I was destroyed.
"Do you really want to know me?" She asked in a distant, empty tone. No malice there. Just, nothing.
In that She was terrifying. I saw something so powerful, so awe inspiring. Something beyond comprehension. Before Her I was so insignificant that I could be brushed aside.
"Yes. I do." I responded.
She smiled, her expression softening, and the whole world seemed to light up with that smile. "Then I will guide you." She said warmly.
So began the true journey along the path of the White Wolf.
posted by Wanderer at 3:01 AM
7 Comments:
If I had an animal name I wonder what it would be.
An interesting question. I am not sure what the answer would be.
Throw me some suggestions. Perhaps you could tell me why you picked yours.
I was considering what thoughts I would have in regards to you. As for myself, it is actually a bit complicated. No that isn't a cop out, it is more of a "sorry, just noticed the question and calls will be picking up shortly, so expect a comment or post in regards to this question a bit later."
*checks watch*
Bite me. I've been sick, and had other responsibilities. I will get back to this later tonight.
Okay, I was delayed in responding because I have spent virtually no time online, and that time that I have spent has been short in duration. In the meantime, when I have had time to consider this question I have been trying to sift out the aspects of my own personal association with the White Wolf that would fall into the category of disbelief or disinterest for you. As such, the various meditative issues are removed and the result is a pretty straight forward and simplistic response. Reason for the preface? To indicate that I had reasons to give this question thought that may not be adequately reflected in the final response.
The animal association, as you might guess, has to do with personal connections you would have with the animal in question.
Wolves are not necessarily inherantly aggressive animals. They are pack animals, and within the pack, they tend not to fight beyond establishment of their position. When threatened, however, they can be vicious animals. They are intelligent. They are impossible to domesticate. While being pack animals, packs don't sleep close together, or display much friendliness to each other. They are loyal to the pack, but anti-social by nature. They are matriarchal. Wolf packs are led by the alpha female.
As for the specific "White Wolf" as opposed to the wolf association in general, that designation I can't give a specific answer to. It just is.
That being said, back to consideration of MC....
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