Reflecting On Lessons Unlearned

So I sat down today as I was waiting for Martha to finish the first infusion of her new medication and I reflected on conversations I have had with people over the past few days in person, on this blog (and the others I visit) and on the phone. I reflected on various conversations, debates and arguments I have been involved in since this blog was created. Thinking of the web address that I have looked at hundreds of times before, I consider the original title I was going to use for this blog. Lessons Unlearned. The title taken from something I wrote several years before this blog was created, and subsequently shared here. For the first time I stopped and wondered how others had read that title, or how others read it if they looked at the address bar for this site.

I wondered whether people interpreted it to mean lessons that I had not learned as of yet, or whether it was interpreted to mean that I was addressing lessons that I had learned that were wrong and needed therefore to be "unlearned".

While the former had been the intention, it occurs to me that both could apply. There are new things that I am learning every day, but I also get the impression that there are things that I need to learn that I have not. There are also things that I have been taught, that have been ingrained in me from a young age that I have spent years "unlearning."

This is not unique to me. Many individuals out there have gone through similar circumstances. In fact, not only do we see this in many individuals, but we see this happening in societies. In fact, some of the greatest conflicts societies face is based on such an occurrence. It is based on the unwillingness of some people to unlearn their ways, either through fear, or an inability to be convinced that what they have been taught is wrong. (Not just reflecting people being stubborn, in some cases they aren't wrong.) Yet often times society moves forward through such process, if not always completely. Slavery is unlearned, but for some the prejudice isn't. Women being second class citizens has been unlearned, but legally based rights and equality issues don't erase the prejudices completely in that arena either.

Slowly people can be reached and induced to accept that something is inappropriate, or incorrect, and this unlearning process is necessary. Each person thus reached helps to increase the likelihood that others will consider what public opinions to espouse or actions to take as what was once normal becomes socially unacceptable. But then, there will always be those who just don't care. That is, after all, one of the beauties of our society. We generally have the right to be socially unacceptable. Some of us exercise it more than others.

The fun area to watch the Lessons Unlearned phenomenon is with churches. You get individuals or groups that step away from the whole. They determine that the body that they were with has got it wrong. From here they find some person or group that seems to have a better understanding or forge their own path.

The thing that makes churches particularly interesting with this phenomenon is that these folks that are stepping away generally aren't that quiet about it. They let the folks that they are leaving know that they are leaving and why. They let everyone else know what is wrong with the folks they just left.

I commented recently that one of the things that amuses me about watching some of these evolving christians, reading their words and hearing them speak is that more of these people who are branching off and being quoted by so many others are spouting similar theology to what they have been condemning folks like me for for years.

Things like spirituality being at odds with religion. Things like theology being reflected in the nature around us. Things like having an interpersonal relationship with their god. These things are popping up more and more. I can almost hear her laughing, "Now they are getting the idea."

Just some thoughts on lessons unlearned in life, or something close to it.