Phone Numbers

For those of you who find yourself posed with the question of what your phone number is at some point, and space for a moment on what it is, don't worry. This in and of itself is not a reason for self termination. We all space on things at times. However, when this happens, there are certain things you shouldn't do. One in particular comes to mind now.

Don't tell the person you are speaking to that you can't recall because you never call yourself. This is not witty. Thousands of people say it, and what it communicates is that you shouldn't be allowed to speak to people unsupervised.

I know my phone number, and I never recall calling myself. If calling yourself was a prerequisite for knowing your phone number, only a few lunatics would be able to answer the question, and thus only a few lunatics would be getting phone calls from others.

The general intelligent public knows their phone number because they commit it to memory. You learn this practice when you are a child. If it is a new number, right it down. Carry it somewhere where it is easy to find. If you don't have that available, tell me that it is a new number and you are looking for where it is written, or that you have short term memory loss, or monkeys keep changing the damn thing. Don't tell me that you never call yourself. Calling yourself regularly would be crazy. Only crazy people announce unprovoked that they aren't crazy.

That is all. Return now to your regularly scheduled life, or something close to it.