A Note Or Two About MC
MC and I have been friends for a good number of years. He ranks high in my inner circle of friends, and I was going to say that he is one of the people I have been friends with the longest. I have always thought of it as such, although when reflecting upon that now I realize that out of my really close friends, he was actually the last one to enter that "inner circle". Interesting that. I was going to say that it was barely relevant to the point of this post, but in truth even I am not sure of what that is at this point. It is more of a collection of ideas that came to mind in a very tired and intoxicated state. (This morning after getting out of work. I am not intoxicated at this point. I am at work, and I don't mix alcohol with my place of employment. It doesn't settle well.)
It is somewhat of the same vein as the suggestion MC proposed at the end of this post though I hadn't thought of that until after.
There is no question in the minds of any who know us, or most of those who have read the exchanges out here, that MC and I are two distinctly different people. It seems at times that there are far more items we disagree on than we agree on. Still, while often disagreeing with him, I can frequently see the rationale of his point of view. (More often, I suspect, than in the reverse.) There are many aspects of MC that I would say are distinctly not me. There are some of these that I would go further and say that not only do I not fit the same mold, but I don't think I would care to. That said, there are many reasons why I am jealous of him, and could aspire to be more like him.
MC is a very confident man. He knows what his strengths and his weaknesses are. This seems a minor thing, but many of us don't have the level of self-assessment that he demonstrates. Not to say that he isn't human. Like anyone, knowledge of his weaknesses doesn't always equal protection from them. This does however lead to another one of his traits that I have always admired. He learns. A simple recognition of what one might perceive as a personal fault doesn't do one any good unless they step up and fix it. In truth, I often wonder if some of my faults will ever be fixed. If I will ever be able to figure out this self-improvement thing.
This is an element of MC that I have been particularly jealous of. He plays a lot of poker. He plays it well. He knows the game, he knows the math, he knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, so to speak. This isn't a natural born talent of his. He had a desire to learn the game and so he studied, worked at it and improved himself. This is something I have never shown much talent for. Not the game, the process of developing such skill at it. I don't recall a single point in which something that I took interest in, showed some latent talent in, was ever improved through study and any attempt on my part to do so. That which I do, for better or worse, seems to always reflect the latent skills applicable to it that I brought to begin with. I have thought, ironically, that MC might teach me the skill of improvement, of learning and applying in such an arena. Except that without learning to learn, I wouldn't be able to apply the skills he taught me.
I am somewhat jealous that his confidence is more honest than my arrogance. He frequently acts as though what he says can be assumed to be correct. This is primarily because it generally is, and he generally can point to the facts to prove it. I generally come off as presuming I am right (which happens frequently enough as well) and can often back up my position as well. The difference. His confidence is something he believes in. My arrogance is not something I believe in. I am jealous that he can so easily presume he has the right of it, while I so easily presume the distinct possibility that I am wrong. Both come off the same and can be confused by others, but his is quite probably the healthier perspective.
One of the things I have admired in MC is his honesty. In case you folks haven't noticed, he frequently employs this rather than bullshit diplomacy. Sometimes I wish I could stop playing the games with people that he seems to so easily refuse to play. Even if I couldn't quite see myself as being as blunt and open as he is, it is also often refreshing to hear him being straightforward, as opposed to the patronizing bullshit you get elsewhere.
Beyond the ability to see his own strengths and weaknesses, he also has a pretty good handle on those of others. With those of us amongst his close friends, at least, he doesn't exploit these, but rather tries to work on them. I can't tell you the number of times he and I have had conversations over coffee, in a car on the way somewhere, or just hanging around the house where he has provided advice and helped me out of a particular situation, or helped me work through a difficult time. I have many more such memories of such scenarios with him than with my own father. I have also benefited greatly from many of those scenarios.
I have spoken of several aspects of why I admire, or even am jealous of MC. I am sure I left some things out along the way. In return I at least have something (and lisanocerous can undoubtedly confirm this) that many of you should be jealous of me for: I have the pleasure of calling MC a friend. Sorry. We can't all be that lucky. That's just life, or something close to it.
It is somewhat of the same vein as the suggestion MC proposed at the end of this post though I hadn't thought of that until after.
There is no question in the minds of any who know us, or most of those who have read the exchanges out here, that MC and I are two distinctly different people. It seems at times that there are far more items we disagree on than we agree on. Still, while often disagreeing with him, I can frequently see the rationale of his point of view. (More often, I suspect, than in the reverse.) There are many aspects of MC that I would say are distinctly not me. There are some of these that I would go further and say that not only do I not fit the same mold, but I don't think I would care to. That said, there are many reasons why I am jealous of him, and could aspire to be more like him.
MC is a very confident man. He knows what his strengths and his weaknesses are. This seems a minor thing, but many of us don't have the level of self-assessment that he demonstrates. Not to say that he isn't human. Like anyone, knowledge of his weaknesses doesn't always equal protection from them. This does however lead to another one of his traits that I have always admired. He learns. A simple recognition of what one might perceive as a personal fault doesn't do one any good unless they step up and fix it. In truth, I often wonder if some of my faults will ever be fixed. If I will ever be able to figure out this self-improvement thing.
This is an element of MC that I have been particularly jealous of. He plays a lot of poker. He plays it well. He knows the game, he knows the math, he knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, so to speak. This isn't a natural born talent of his. He had a desire to learn the game and so he studied, worked at it and improved himself. This is something I have never shown much talent for. Not the game, the process of developing such skill at it. I don't recall a single point in which something that I took interest in, showed some latent talent in, was ever improved through study and any attempt on my part to do so. That which I do, for better or worse, seems to always reflect the latent skills applicable to it that I brought to begin with. I have thought, ironically, that MC might teach me the skill of improvement, of learning and applying in such an arena. Except that without learning to learn, I wouldn't be able to apply the skills he taught me.
I am somewhat jealous that his confidence is more honest than my arrogance. He frequently acts as though what he says can be assumed to be correct. This is primarily because it generally is, and he generally can point to the facts to prove it. I generally come off as presuming I am right (which happens frequently enough as well) and can often back up my position as well. The difference. His confidence is something he believes in. My arrogance is not something I believe in. I am jealous that he can so easily presume he has the right of it, while I so easily presume the distinct possibility that I am wrong. Both come off the same and can be confused by others, but his is quite probably the healthier perspective.
One of the things I have admired in MC is his honesty. In case you folks haven't noticed, he frequently employs this rather than bullshit diplomacy. Sometimes I wish I could stop playing the games with people that he seems to so easily refuse to play. Even if I couldn't quite see myself as being as blunt and open as he is, it is also often refreshing to hear him being straightforward, as opposed to the patronizing bullshit you get elsewhere.
Beyond the ability to see his own strengths and weaknesses, he also has a pretty good handle on those of others. With those of us amongst his close friends, at least, he doesn't exploit these, but rather tries to work on them. I can't tell you the number of times he and I have had conversations over coffee, in a car on the way somewhere, or just hanging around the house where he has provided advice and helped me out of a particular situation, or helped me work through a difficult time. I have many more such memories of such scenarios with him than with my own father. I have also benefited greatly from many of those scenarios.
I have spoken of several aspects of why I admire, or even am jealous of MC. I am sure I left some things out along the way. In return I at least have something (and lisanocerous can undoubtedly confirm this) that many of you should be jealous of me for: I have the pleasure of calling MC a friend. Sorry. We can't all be that lucky. That's just life, or something close to it.
posted by Wanderer at 2:24 PM
4 Comments:
If any of you read this between when I posted it and when I went back and edited it, and haven't already jumped to this conclusion, the jumbled comments after my usual tagline were my notes prior to writing, and I forgot to remove them until now.
I don't know what to say. I'm going to have to take a while to formulate a response.
When I first saw the title of this post, I kind of thought it might be hostile, as a defense or response to the comment I made with a little edge about mysticism in the hypnosis thread.
Instead it was one of the most touching and gratifying things I've ever read (besides porn, depending on how you define touching and fratifying).
I'll have a response at some point.
you had to know that i would join you here eventually and here i am.
there have been many times when i have wanted to comment on things that you or MC have said about yourselves or each other but decided i wasnt going to go through the effort to set up another blog, while today i decided to go through the effort.
first off i want to say that i agree with pretty much all that you said in regards to the things that you admire in MC. I too admire alot of those things.
I disagree however that you dont have the ability to learn. I find myself unfortunatley at a loss to come up with an example at the moment but I know that I have always admired your ability to learn and perfect skills when you set your mind to it. I will work on coming up with some examples for you. I know that there is a lot that I admire in you too and that you have a lot of the skills I lack and I look to you to teach my sweet pea those. She looks up to you and that makes me happy. I admire the way you can build things with her and do the oragami and the way you draw. I wish that I could do those things.
Interesting the comments you make about my learning, not so surprising that you can't think of an example.
Obviously, to some extent I have an ability in that area. I wasn't able to write when I was born. Moreover I meant an ability to deduce and perfect beyond the basic knowledge and my application of my talents to that which was initially learned. It is a difference between learning something and becoming a master. I am not sure I have the master in me.
I also have to note, with more amusement than anything else, that I can't draw worth shit. Not sure where that came from. Must be your other brother.
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