Why I didn't Show Up For Work

WHY I DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR WORK

"I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and was told
by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the
sink... or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the
unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the
contents down the drain with the exception of one glass,
which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle
and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I
drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured
the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and
poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the
bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of
it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink
out ot the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank
and drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I
steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles,
corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were
29, and as the house came by I counted them again and
finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank.

I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople
pink I was.

I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish,
I didn't know who was me, and the drunker I stood thero the
longer I got."

- Well there's your joke for the day, now you can go back to your normal life, or something close to it.